ST. JOHN’S, NF — Local cat Barney Gabriel Boudreault has shared that he gets his best ideas at three o’clock in the morning. “They say an artist can’t afford to wait around for inspiration,…
Due to supply chain issues, local woman runs out of fucks to give
WINNIPEG – Due to ongoing supply chain issues across the country, a local woman has completely run out of fucks to give. Alexis Jenkins, 29, has historically given excessive fucks, otherwise know…
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
There comes a time in every relationship when we must ask ourselves: is he really into me, or is he just using me… to free his family from the curse bestowed upon them by a witch long ago? …
Fox’s highest rated new series The Anti-Mask Singer
LOS ANGELES – Fox’s viewership has reached astronomical new heights with its smash new television hit, The Anti-Mask Singer. “This show really speaks to our core audience,” says Fox spokesperson …
Trudeau nervous about losing job, suddenly extends CRB
OTTAWA – In response to recent forecasts that he may not have a job for much longer, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a sudden extension to CRB. “The Canada Recovery Benefit was introd…
Ryerson agrees to change name, drop the “University”
TORONTO – In response to recently renewed discussions surrounding the problematic history of its name, Ryerson has agreed to make the necessary change – by no longer calling itself a univer…
5 ways lesbian dating has not changed during the pandemic
Over the past year and a half, COVID-19 has upended our lives in ways previously unfathomable to even the wildest, gayest imaginations. Pride celebrations have moved online, and if Drag Race Seas…
Millennial woman horrified to learn she just wakes up early now
Dartmouth, NS – A millennial woman has been horrified to discover that she just wakes up early now, all on her own. Brittany Austin, 31, made the frightening discovery last weekend, when she atte…
Masked woman can’t stop smiling now that men can’t tell her to smile
Yellowknife, NWT – A local woman who regularly wears face masks cannot stop smiling, due to the fact that men can no longer tell her to smile. Naomi Abrams, 29, hasn’t been told to smile by a man…
AITA man asks website full of assholes
BURNABY, BC – An alleged asshole has taken to a website full of assholes to determine once and for all if he is, in fact, an asshole. “Hey Reddit. Now that I work exclusively from home, I c…