As Jagmeet Singh’s disastrous run of the NDP has shown, left wing politicians will always inevitably let you down. Whether it’s relentlessly pushing to the centre to court more votes, never enacting o...
Carney reduces Trudeau’s tree planting program from 2 billion trees to 2
“It’s a minor revision to the program’s goals.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Megan MacKay) dive into the details of Mark Carney’s budget, specul...
Complex, timeless masterpiece of classical music conjures up only images of cartoon rabbit in drag
CORNWALL, ON ― 39-year-old landscaper Talia Arsenault became painfully aware of her total lack of refinement recently, when a symphony that had weathered centuries of cultural change thanks to its sti...
Poilievre to floor-crossing MP: “My leadership style is fine you cuck beta soyboy!”
OTTAWA – With Yarmouth MP Chris d’Entremont crossing the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals due to “Poilievre’s leadership style”, the CPC leader has responded “...
Katy Perry smiles politely as Trudeau describes himself as “the Canadian Mamdani”
OTTAWA – Onlookers at high end restaurant La Rivière report spotting celebrity couple Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau on a recent date, during which the former Prime Minister repeatedly drew favou...
President Trump pardons the Hamburglar
McDonalds, D.C. – US President Donald Trump has added to his list of pardons another well-known criminal, McDonald’s mascot The Hamburglar. “He is a really great guy, this guy,” stated Trump whi...
Tech CEOs suggest AI job losses could be offset by UBI which they will violently oppose
PALO ALTO, CA – A group of Silicon Valley tech CEOs assure North Americans that job losses from artificial intelligence could easily be mitigated by universal basic income, while also adding tha...
Trump responds to Reagan ad with own commercial featuring Jean Chrétien strangling protestor
Shawinigan, Quebec – US President Donald Trump has responded to Ford’s anti-tariff commercial with his own anti-protestor commercial featuring previous Canadian prime minister Jean Chrétien. “Lo...
Nation’s therapists know what they’re going to be talking about this week
TORONTO – Canada’s psychologists, psychiatrists and PTSD specialists are all pretty confident they know what they’ll be covering with their patients this week. “Usually it’s a bit of a mystery,”...
Blue Jays fans definitely gonna need that extra Daylight Savings hour tomorrow
TORONTO – With Daylight Savings rolling clocks back an hour the same night as the Blue Jays face off against the L.A. Dodgers in a climactic World Series Game 7, Canadian baseball fans are confi...
