MONTREAL – Attendees at the 2026 Liberal Party Convention have reported finding conspicuously-left pamphlets for a “Shock Away The Gay” conversion therapy camp, apparently distribute...
Artemis II mission returns successfully with the moon
HOUSTON, TX – After splashing down in the middle of the Pacific, NASA’s Artemis II capsule returned to Earth after a successful ten-day mission to bring the moon back to Earth. The mission objec...
Cute photo-op destroys Artemis II mission as Canadian uncorks maple syrup
“I can’t think of a single more dangerous food to have in zero gravity.” Guest host Ian MacIntyre is joined by panellist Nile Séguin along with special guests Kyah Green (The Fandom ...
Trump clarifies that civilization he intends to end is America
WASHINGTON, DC – Following criticism that he has reneged on his promise to end “a whole civilization,” as detailed in one of his many irate posts about the Iran war, US President Donald Trump ha...
Five reasons MPs keep leaving my party that have absolutely nothing to do with me
By: Pierre Poilievre Good afternoon my fellow Canadians, except the ones I don’t like: This morning, Conservative MP Marilyn Gladu crossed the floor to Mark Carney’s traitorous, thievery-loving Libera...
Dow Jones closes down 11 points as Apocalypse destroys all life on Earth
NEW YORK- The complete eradication of sentient life on our planet spurned the end of history, the death of time, and a permanent all-consuming blackness, as markets reacted negatively, shedding eleven...
Carney: “I love being PM, except for the brief time I have to spend in Canada”
OTTAWA – Reflecting on being PM for over a year, Mark Carney told reporters that he loves every aspect of the job, except for “the short amount of time I have to spend in Canada every mont...
Local woman totally not jealous of woman who got to leave Earth
LONGUEUIL, QC – A local woman is totally not jealous of Christina Koch, the NASA astronaut who now holds the record for being the woman farthest away from Earth. Katherine Walker, 36, announced her co...
AI commercial produced on budget of just 3 lakes
LOS ANGELES, CA — The advertising industry is abuzz after reports that a recent AI-made television commercial was produced on a budget of only three pristine Tennessee lakes. This marks a significant ...
Air Canada promises next CEO will gouge customers in both English and French
MONTREAL – With CEO Michael Rousseau stepping down following a widely-derided public statement made only in English, Air Canada has vowed that their next CEO will mercilessly overcharge travelle...
