EDMONTON – With the results of all ten questions on the Alberta referendum in, a majority of Albertans have sent a clear message to the world that they are not only Canadian, but also racist. “T...
Games Industry Leaders remember Canadian developers just in time to crush them entirely
EDMONTON – In a stroke of luck, key movers and shakers in the video games industry recalled the existence of the incredible talent at Canadian studio Bioware just in time to wipe it from existen...
Report: Elon Musk sabotaged Ukrainian Starlink by switching them to Rogers
KYIV, UKRAINE – A bombshell report by the Wall Street journal reveals that SpaceX and Starlink CEO Elon Musk personally meddled with Ukrainian missile defence systems by downgrading their intern...
Alberta separatists propose making referendum vote best-of-seven series
EDMONTON – Rather than accepting defeat in Tuesday’s Referendum and disappearing forever, as most Albertans hoped, separatist leaders are calling to extend the vote “playoff style” to a best-of-...
Brad Bradford vows to put a cop in your living room if elected Mayor
Toronto, ON – In a bold campaign move, Toronto mayoral hopeful Brad Bradford has vowed to put a police officer in your living room if elected to office. “You will never have to worry about your physi...
Brad Bradford reinvigorates campaign with desperate “Landlords need more” slogan
Toronto, ON – Alliterative city councillor Brad Bradford ‘the rad landlord’ has relaunched his campy campaign for major mayor of Toronto with the desperate new slogan, “Landlords need more...
U.S. government accuses Canada of meddling in Alberta referendum
WASHINGTON, D. C. – Secretary of State Marco Rubio is reportedly accusing Prime Minister Mark Carney of election interference in the recent Alberta referendum. The accusation came after Prime Minister...
Nation shocked as Alberta makes good decision
EDMONTON – With 76% of Albertans voting to reject a referendum on leaving Canada, the remainder of Canadians have registered “pleasant shock” at the province’s decision to, for...
Alberta Separatists confident of victory due to “Canadians’ overwhelming love for USA and Trump”
CALGARY – Despite Alberta separatism polling at under 30%, separatist organizers are confident they have read the electorate correctly, pointing to “the current record-high levels of Canad...
AI coworker put on 90-day Performance Improvement Plan
TORONTO – HubRate Insurance confirmed that Agentic Representative Chad, its first AI agent, who was hired to revolutionize throughput and eliminate bottlenecks, has been formally placed on a 90-...
