OTTAWA – This morning, in an unscheduled press statement, the Prime Minister’s Office has said that Prime Minister Mark Carney has turned off geolocation services for all his electronic de...






OTTAWA – This morning, in an unscheduled press statement, the Prime Minister’s Office has said that Prime Minister Mark Carney has turned off geolocation services for all his electronic de...



WATERLOO, ON – A local allegedly grand piano has been revealed to just be fine. Owner Marsha Jameson made the discovery this past week after sitting down to play the instrument for her first time sinc...



OTTAWA – Prime Minister Mark Carney has vowed that 2026 will see huge economic growth for Canada’s GDP, manufacturing, and exports, none of which will redound to you in the slightest. Desp...



VANCOUVER – Students attending the Unholiday Dance at Our Lady of Infernal Evil’s Satanist School have just been reminded by a volunteer chaperone to “Leave space for Lucifer” while slow dancing...



Miami Florida- This morning the Kraft Heinz Corporation, who produce the beloved snack Bagel Bites announced that they will be discontinuing the deeply unpopular alternative, Bagel Chewed. Bagel Chew...



KINGSTON, ON – Seconds after Hockey Canada announced its men’s Olympic roster, fans nationwide expressed outrage at the players they assumed were chosen. “From the moment I read ‘Canada announces’ I ...



OTTAWA – Despite best efforts and an emotional journey through time and space, three ghosts visiting Official Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre failed to inspire him to change his ways through ...



North Pole, CA – After years of competition between the two Christmas lovers, Jeff Bezos has finally decided to end Santa Claus’ hold on Christmas by putting a hit out on Saint Nick after holida...



“I know we’ve had many pictures of Mark Carney on our website… but I’m not entirely sure I could pick him out of a lineup.” Hit the bricks, you stupid year! Ian and the P...



TORONTO – As another tax season approaches, financial experts suggest that the best way to prepare for retirement is to sneak a bunch of new numbers into your bank’s database and hope for the best. “...