CALGARY – A long, bright career ended today following dozens of accusations of sexual harassment against Larry Branson, and he is holding nothing back as he expresses his deep, heartfelt re…
Tag: Featured Post
Ford government solves Toronto housing crisis for everyone who is an MPP
TORONTO – In a surprise move sure to boost the party’s popularity among Torontonians, the Ontario Conservative government has completely solved Toronto’s housing crisis for ever…
Schick responds to Gillette’s #MeToo ad by releasing misogynistic razor
NEW YORK – In response to Gillette’s powerful advertisement about toxic masculinity, Schick has unveiled a misogynistic razor for those angry and bitter men who feel betrayed. “This product…
Hottest New Year’s diet trend just looking in the mirror and saying ‘you’re a bad person and I don’t like you’
The New Year is upon us! While lots of us are sticking to our New Year’s resolutions to eat healthier, some of us are looking to start a diet that’s a little less demanding. But never fear! A who…
Canada adds ‘will accepting you embarrass Saudi Arabia’ question to refugee claimant form
OTTAWA – Following their shockingly quick acceptance of Saudi teen Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun’s refugee claim, the Trudeau government has officially amended Canada’s refugee intake questionnai…
CTV orders Beaverton ‘Year In Review’ NYE Special to put final nail in 2018’s coffin
TORONTO – As part of their plan to say good bye and good riddance to 2018, The Beaverton will air a One Hour New Year’s Eve Special on CTV at 10pm EST. “Unless we spend an hour …
Preview: ‘The Beaverton Year In Review 2018’ December 31 On CTV
If Miguel and Emma can get a word in.…
Trudeau instructs Canadarm to extend middle finger every time it orbits over Alberta
An excerpt from The Beaverton Presents Glorious and/or Free: The True History of Canada. Available where books are sold. November 12, 1981 143 KM ABOVE THE EARTH – In a move that has furthe…
Preview: ‘The Beaverton Ruins Your Holidays Special’ December 20 On CTV
Get into the holiday spirit, by having it ruined.…
The Beaverton finally given hour-long CTV special to take on its greatest foe: Christmas
TORONTO – After years spent taking on lesser enemies like the media and the concept of telling the truth, Canada’s satirical news empire The Beaverton has finally convinced CTV to give it one hou…