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Dissolved Proud Boys rebrand as “Hoity-toity Boys”
OTTAWA – After being designated as a terrorist group by the Canadian government, the Proud Boys have dissolved to rebrand themselves as the “Hoity-toity Boys.” “We are big strong men who do…
🔒 Hungover virtual learning teacher points webcam at a Telefrancais video
Thunder Bay, ON - Ryan Strum, a local french teacher, has discovered a way to carry on the time honoured traditions of hungover teachers just playing a video in class by pointing his computer web…
Doctor who kept telling depressed patients to see a clown finally loses license
SASKATOON – After years of criticism regarding his controversial approach to mental health, family physician Russell Wendt has lost his medical license for continually suggesting that depressed p…
Hip Gen X-er brags about his rare discontinued vaccine
Hamilton, ON – Following the announcement that Ontario will no longer be giving out first doses of the AstraZeneca vaccine, local 46 year old machinist Dwayne McEwen could be seen leaning u…
Ontarians a bit shocked Ford waited 14 months to pull out the ‘blame immigrants’ playbook
TORONTO – In the wake of numerous attack ads and tweets from Ford and his team that falsely claim the third wave in Ontario was caused by the federal government’s failure to close the…
Anticipating Bill C-10, nation’s TikTok users try dancing to The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald
OTTAWA – As rumours swirl that the Liberal Government’s Bill C-10 will give the CRTC the power to restrict social media users’ posts for not having enough CanCon, the country…
Masked woman can’t stop smiling now that men can’t tell her to smile
Yellowknife, NWT – A local woman who regularly wears face masks cannot stop smiling, due to the fact that men can no longer tell her to smile. Naomi Abrams, 29, hasn’t been told to smile by a man…
Local woman pretty sure the census is hitting on her
CALGARY – A Calgary woman is fairly certain that the Canadian census she just took online was interested in far more than gathering her vital statistics. “It started out normally, you know,…
🔒 Companies outraged that workers are leaving minimum wage jobs before they can be replaced by robots
NEW YORK CITY - As more frontline workers opt to quit minimum wage jobs that could expose them to COVID, Company CEOs say they are furious that people would simply stay home and "cash benefit che…