QUEEN’S PARK – In the wake of an LCBO strike, Premier Doug Ford has reportedly been working around the clock to secure Ontarian’s access to hard liquor, as keeping conservative …
Tag: Ontario
Ontario Science Centre closes after roof in danger of collapsing under weight of Doug Ford’s bullshit
TORONTO – After standing for 54 years as a testament to midcentury architecture and a source of memories for generations of young people, the Ontario Science Centre was announced to be clos…
Everything freedom loving Conservatives have banned Canadians from doing in recent years
Pierre Poilievre and the Conservatives plan to make Canada the freest country in the world if (ok once) they get into power. In unrelated news here is a list of everything Conservatives currently…
Ford announces LCBO paper bags to double as his affordable housing plan
QUEEN’S PARK – In a bid to provide economic relief to struggling Ontarians, Premier Doug Ford has ordered the LCBO to return to providing customers free paper bags – a move that…
Ford doubles down on refusal to build fourplexes until someone explains to him what they are
VAUGHAN – After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced on Tuesday that he would give an additional six billion dollars to the provinces for housing as long as they allow fourplexes to be b…
Following Appeal Court ruling, Ford vows to get revenge on teachers and nurses in a different, constitutional way
QUEEN’S PARK – After the Ontario Appeal Court ruled today that Bill 124, Doug Ford’s law imposing wage caps on public sector workers, was unconstitutional, Ford vowed that he would get reve…
Doug Ford moves Ontario’s Legislative Assembly to the back of a Costco
TORONTO – Carrying on with his party’s plan to make every government office operate out of an American chain store, Ontario Premier Doug Ford has announced that provincial parliament …
Woman and Dog from “Alberta is Calling” ad airlifted from frozen cliff
WATERTON, AB – Hours after trekking up popular hiking location “Bear’s Hump” to film an advertisement for the “Alberta is Calling” relocation campaign, 28-year-old former Ontario resident Natalie…
Celebrating 20 years of legalizing same-sex marriage in Ontario: here are 5 of the most boring gay couples
20 years ago, Ontario became the first Canadian province to legalize same-sex marriage, paving the way for the other provinces, and eventually the whole country, to allow gay couples who are as b…
Ford to bring alcohol to corner stores, in bid to get Ontario drunk enough to re-elect him
QUEEN’S PARK – Premier Doug Ford has announced the province will soon allow alcohol sales in convenience stores and gas stations, in hopes that Ontarians will get so recklessly blitzed that…