Thunder Bay, ON - Ryan Strum, a local french teacher, has discovered a way to carry on the time honoured traditions of hungover teachers just playing a video in class by pointing his computer web…
Tag: Zoom
🔒 Zoom call with American friends now depressing in the other direction
Richmond, B.C. - A monthly zoom call which previously consisted of Canadian man Jalen Montclair consoling his American friends now consists of his American friends consoling Jalen. "Ever since th…
New Zoom filter adds pants, will to live
SAN JOSE, CA – Videoconferencing giant Zoom has announced a line of visual filters for the hot new market of customers who show up to meetings wondering what’s even the point anymore. The n…
Nation’s uncles scramble to pre-record racist rant in time for Christmas dinner
NATIONWIDE – As COVID restrictions tighten and the uncertainty of family gatherings looms, uncles across Canada are scrambling to pre-record their racist rants for extended families to enjo…
Tired office workers can’t wait to attend mandatory Zoom session on Zoom fatigue
AUGUSTA, ME – Exhausted employees at the Department of Health and Human Services couldn’t be more thrilled about their upcoming compulsory Zoom session on Zoom fatigue. “I am so excited!!!” screa…
Man who never stopped following lockdown protocols welcomes friends back with piercing, joyless laugh
TORONTO – Local man Jacob Bach, who continued to quarantine at home even as the city opened up during the spring and summer, is virtually welcoming friends back to the lockdown lifestyle wi…
Local man who always cobbles together Halloween costume last minute grateful he only has to do top half this year
EDMONTON — As Halloween draws near, local masters student Paul McBride is grateful that, unlike previous years, COVID-19 restrictions mean he only has to furiously cobble together the top half of…
Dad treating Zoom Thanksgiving dinner like it’s headlining gig at Radio City
VANCOUVER – Local dad Keith Jacobs is reportedly dominating this year’s Thanksgiving dinner-via-Zoom like a young comic who just booked the big spot at Radio City. Taking advantage of video…
Friend asking if you’re doing Sober October this year can fuck all the way off
Selkirk, MB – During a recent Zoom hang your friend Matt asked if you will be refraining from drinking this month, because he’s a piece of shit who should shut his shit mouth. “…
Woman reports home yoga not the same when person’s butt not in face
NEW BRUNSWICK – Local woman, and self-identified yogi, Marsha Fellows, has reported that home yoga is just not the same when there isn’t a fellow patron’s butt in her face. “It just feels d…