OTTAWA – The Canadian Border Services Agency has announced that the Canada-U.S. border will remain closed until January 21st, “a date with no specific significance whatsoever.” “We would li…
Tag: USA
Trump clarifies that massive Chinese tariffs will not include racist T-shirts
WASHINGTON, DC – Following his controversial $200 billion tariffs on Chinese imports, President Trump clarified this week that the tariffs would not apply to racially insensitive clothing. “Many …
Eight year-old pretty sure her army dad is hiding in that cardboard box in the middle of school gymnasium
ST. LOUIS – Third grader Emily Harris is reporting a high degree of confidence that her father, who has been stationed in Afghanistan for almost 18 months, is hiding in that large, conspicuous bo…
America just going to permanently leave flags at half-mast
AMERICA — In the wake of the latest mass shooting, the United States of America has collectively decided that it makes more sense to leave their flags at half-mast on an ongoing basis. “Low…
IN PHOTOS: Local children sleep over at Jimmy’s to read his copy of Fire and Fury
Group of children delight as they read Michel Wolff’s White House tell-all during a sleep-over at Jimmy’s house.…
“I know exactly how to fix America” claims teenager who just watched Fight Club for the first time
COCHRANE, AB – Local teen Ryan Killicky claims that he has the answer of how to fix the massive social and political turmoil occurring within the United States, and that the solution lies w…
US health care debacle makes local man proud of system that’s unaffordable for 10% of Canadians
HALIFAX – After seeing several news reports stating upwards of 30 million Americans could lose health insurance, local man Oscar Mcallister says he’s proud to live in a country where only t…
Inspiring! Meet the first Frat Boy to ever chant “U.S.A! U.S.A!”
Have you ever wondered why after chugging a particularly warm beer, one feels compelled to chant “U.S.A, U.S.A”, even if you’re not in the United States? Well wonder no more, because we found the…
House GOP excited to finally read new AHCA bill they just passed
WASHINGTON, D.C. — House Republicans told reporters this afternoon that they are excited to actually read the text of the American Health Care Act, which they just voted 217 – 212 to …
Trump’s 100th day gala celebrated “longest ever” presidential term
WASHINGTON D.C. – Donald Trump skipped the White House correspondents’ dinner this weekend, opting instead to hold a rally celebrating his 100th day in office – the “longest ever term…
