TORONTO – Under fire for sending in hundreds of armed police and private security to evict 25 unhoused people from an encampment in Trinity Bellwoods Park, mayor John Tory defended his acti…
Tag: rich
Man daydreams of being rich person’s dog for 5th time today
TORONTO – Local man, Andrew Tan, has spent a lot of time lately thinking how great it would be to be a rich person’s dog instead of a human male forced to make his life fulfilling. “I’ve be…
Thousands of rich Canadians who also pay zero dollars in tax glance around nervously
OTTAWA – In the wake of the New York Times’ revelation that Donald Trump paid almost no income tax for the last 15 years, Canada’s wealthy are really hoping no one notices how l…
Man who has barely left basement apartment in months really enjoying his rich friends’ cottage photos
TORONTO – Local man Jerome Wittels has been housebound in his 300 sq. foot basement apartment since the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown began, but says he is getting quite a lot of enjoyment see…
Rich fuck eating something gold
NEW YORK CITY – Even though it adds absolutely no flavour, noted rich fuck, Andy Robinson, 48, of independent investment firm RRBexchange Capital was reported seen paying over $1000 to add…
Ontario Dentists relieved they won’t have to work on poor people teeth for at least another 4 years
TORONTO – With the Ontario PC Party in power, Dentists across Ontario are breathing a sigh of relief that they won’t have to work on an additional 4.5 million poor people’s teeth. “Dental c…
QUIZ: Will your child be an NHL star or are you too poor to afford thousands in upfront costs?
With hockey season getting underway, a new journey is about to begin for thousands of children across the nation. They’ll be stepping onto the ice for the first time with dreams of one day …
Financial planner recommends having more money
HALIFAX – Financial planner Marlene Singh has earnestly told her clients that, in order to be financially secure, they should have a lot more money. “In my professional opinion, I can not s…
Rich friend suggests going to concert
CALGARY – Dave O’Neil, a local man who must have family money or something, has suggested to his group of friends that they all go see the upcoming Foo Fighters concert. “I think it would b…
Non-eccentric billionaire swims in pool filled with water
WINNIPEG, MB- Mundane tycoon Nigel Arkridge is taking a dip in an oval-shaped swimming pool filled with water instead of coins or gemstones. “Nigel is a bit of a non-weirdo to be honest.” Said Ar…