Vatican City – During his online arguments with US president Trump, Pope Leo XIV was able to ratio the president on X, getting more likes than the President’s original post and handing Trum…
Tag: Pope
In embarrassing snafu, starting line-up of St. Louis Cardinals included in Conclave to elect new pope
VATICAN CITY – In a clear administrative error by the Holy See, the recently convened Conclave to choose the next pope has mistakenly included both the entire College of Cardinals as well as the …
Vatican won’t bless gay marriage: “God wants gays to have a consensual poly arrangement”
VATICAN CITY – The Vatican has announced their official position that they cannot bless same-sex marriage due to the fact that trapping gay people within an outdated heteronormative institu…
Officials ask Pope to stop ending sermons with community announcements from Vatican bulletin
VATICAN CITY – Officials representing the Holy See have reportedly issued a formal request that Pope Francis cease ending his sermons from the balcony of St. Peter’s Basilica with local announcem…
“Does a bear shit in the woods?” asks man who really wishes someone would just tell him already
CAPE BRETON, NS – Frank Thompson has spent his entire life searching for the answer to a question that no one in his life is willing to answer, no matter how many times he asks: whether or not a …
Breaking: Pope on balcony just to hack a dart
VATICAN CITY – Gathering in the thousands to hear him speak, parishioners were disappointed this Good Friday when Pope Francis came out on to the papal balcony just to open up a pack of Bel…
Pope denounces inhumane death penalty in favour of endless demonic torture
VATICAN CITY – Changing the Catholic Church’s position on capital punishment, Pope Francis has denounced the death penalty as inhumane and unacceptable in all cases, recommending instead ev…
Pope Francis makes Taco Bell a sin after spending all morning in bathroom
VATICAN CITY- Officially recognized by the Catholic church as of this morning; the sale, consumption, or creation of any Taco Bell products will now be considered a mortal sin on par with murder …
Pope remains champion at annual Shrove Tuesday pancake eating contest
VATICAN CITY – Consuming a record 87 pancakes in under 20 minutes, Pope Francis has retained his championship title for the fourth year in a row at the annual Shrove Tuesday pancake eating …
Saguenay city council retaliates against SC ruling by spiking water supply with Holy Water
SAGUENAY – The secular community was up in arms Wednesday after discovering the council had passed a motion to mix Holy Water with the city’s main water supply to ‘bless the heathens living in si…
