LOS ANGELES – Following successful, gritty re-imaginings of childhood staples such Riverdale and Sabrina the Teenage Witch, streaming giant Netflix has announced a reboot of the fireplace channel…
Tag: Netflix
Nation’s Netflix subscription now costs a dollar more than previous rate of “I have no idea what I’m paying”
LOS GATOS, CA – Canadian Netflix subscribers are about to pay a dollar more per month than whatever they’ve been paying up to now, which, honestly, no one can remember. The streaming compan…
STUDY: TV shows made for teens exclusively consumed by mid-thirties viewers
LOS ANGELES — A recent study has proven that television specifically written for the teenage demographic is exclusively being consumed by people in their thirties. “At first we were flatter…
Vancouver School Board worried that learning will get in the way of film productions
VANCOUVER – The Vancouver School Board has expressed concerns regarding the safety and productivity of film crews and the negative effects the returning student body will have on them this …
Please keep paying attention to me
By: Stephen Harper, former Prime Minister of Canada You likely heard some news stories about me recently. You might have heard that I think Bernie Sanders is actually scarier than Donald Trump. O…
Netflix producer caught releasing dozens of bad movies into local river
HOLLYWOOD – A Netflix producer is facing charges after being caught dumping a number of god-awful movies into a local river. Residents began to report an excremental stench several weeks ag…
White House sources reveal Trump still using Obama’s Netflix password
WASHINGTON D.C. – Sources inside the White House recently confirmed reports that President Donald Trump has been stealing Netflix by using former president Barack Obama’s account. The Obama…
REPORT: 93% of couples consider partner watching TV series ahead of them to be worse than cheating
OTTAWA – According to an extensive survey conducted over the past year, the average person considers the act of watching new episodes of a television series without their partner, colloquia…
Local man furious after missing child alert momentarily disrupts parade of vapid internet bullshit
Yarker, ON – This week, the Ontario cellular emergency alert system successfully located a missing child at the unfortunate expense of office worker Peter Jenkins, who suffered a brief inte…
Netflix greenlights reboot of 64,000-year-old cave painting
LOS GATOS, CA – Following the success of reboots/sequels like Fuller House, Gilmore Girls and Lost In Space, Netflix is now looking at humanity’s oldest artistic endeavor as a fresh yet pal…