CANADA – As coronavirus social distancing approaches its second full week, single-person households across the country report Netflix’s autoprompt reminding them that they are alone – so, s…
Tag: Netflix
Breaking: All the news happening all at once
EARTH – According to reports from every single human being’s television, social media and worried mothers, all the news is currently happening right now. “I took a 10 minute shower and when…
Netflix password-sharing crackdown reveals just one paid subscriber
LOS GATOS, CA -– Following a new policy designed to strictly limit account-sharing among multiple users, Netflix has discovered that it has always just been one subscriber. The lone paying custom…
Millennial Christmas party evacuated as guests run out of TV shows to talk about
TORONTO — Guests at a holiday party hosted by millennial couple Elaine Royce and Andray Parker were evacuated by first responders as their guests realized they had run out of TV series to m…
Local woman spends day off terrified she’s forgetting something
TORONTO – Yesterday, Lindsay Crawford experienced her first full day off in two months, an event that should have involved nothing but stress-free relaxation. However, the 30-year-old spent the e…
Report: Laptop tired of staying up until 3am every night
TORONTO – According to reports, Stephanie McGrath’s laptop simply can’t keep up with her late nights, most often consisting of google searches such as “Tilda Swinton how old” and Buzzfeed q…
Stranger Things plagiarism lawsuit dropped after Duffer Brothers prove they stole everything from other sources
HOLLYWOOD – A lawsuit brought by a filmmaker who alleged that the Netflix megahit show Stranger Things was based on his ideas has been withdrawn after the Duffer Brothers and Netflix were a…
Netflix invests in more serial killings to meet demand for documentaries
LOS GATOS, CA – The streaming platform Netflix has committed millions of dollars toward paying people to commit new, quirky, yet relatable serial murders so that their crimes can be transfo…
Netflix’s Bird Box sequel promises more birds, bigger box
HOLLYWOOD – After impressive viewing statistics, Netflix has announced a sequel to the Sandra Bullock film Bird Box, which promises “a lot more birds” and a “way bigger box.” “We assumed vi…
Marie Kondo readers can’t wait until her TV fans get to the ‘red wedding’
LOS GATOS, CA – After selling 1.5 million copies of her book, The life-changing magic of tidying up, organizational guru Marie Kondo is now the star of a Netflix series, Tidying Up with Mar…