CALGARY – In addition to the cereal, newspaper, and homeownership industries, reports show millennials are now destroying the once-popular pastime of legal for-profit millennial homicide. W…
Tag: Netflix
Couple spends weekend binge watching their relationship die
REGINA – Local couple Cameron Lacks and Joel Divago are excited to unwind after a long work week by spending the weekend binge watching their relationship die. “My last relationship I would…
Man returns from European vacation with fantastic tales of what they have on Netflix
OTTAWA — Local office temp Ryan Graydon has returned from his first-ever trip to Europe eager to regale his friend with stories of the movies and TV shows available on European Netflix. “So…
New Netflix program just a live feed of your friends having fun without you
LOS GATOS, CA – Netflix has recently announced its newest slate of programming, including the hotly anticipated binge-worthy show A Live Feed of Your Friends Having Fun Without You, which w…
REPORT: Nation still using Dave’s Netflix account
MISSISSAUGA – An investigation by the Netflix Data Engineering and Analytics team has found that each of the approximately 36.5 million Canadians is currently logged in to Dave’s Netflix account.…
Local dog spends weekend on couch binge-licking
KAMLOOPS – This past weekend saw Barkley, a Chocolate Labrador, spend nearly all of his waking hours on the couch, seemingly unable to stop cleaning his genitals with his tongue. The binge …
Friends and family look on helplessly as local woman contemplates Smallville marathon
CALGARY – The friends and family of Katherine Jacobs, 30, are at a loss as to how to prevent her from throwing hundreds of hours of her life away on a Smallville marathon. “We all knew she’…
Man suffering no adverse effects one month after deciding not to watch “Iron Fist”
ELORA, ON – In a promising case that has the scientific community cautiously optimistic, local man Kyle Redding appears to be no worse off for his decision not to watch Marvel’s Netfl…
Wife’s affair gives husband time to finally catch up on Netflix queue
Dartmouth, NS – After finding definitive proof his wife was having an extramarital affair, local husband Nathan Wexler is using his newly freed up evenings to catch up on his Netflix queue.…
Liam Neeson kills 8 in method acting rampage
VANCOUVER – 8 people lost their lives when esteemed actor Liam Neeson went on a method acting rampage while filming Taken 4. The incident began shortly after production wrapped for the day …