EDMONTON – The people of Alberta have elected Randy, an assistant trailer park supervisor from Nova Scotia, as their Premier for the next four years. With a majority of the seats the UCP is…
Tag: Jason Kenney
Jason Kenney blasts Rachel Notley for not loving Alberta enough to commit electoral fraud to win party leadership
CALGARY – After weeks of denial, Jason Kenney has changed tack and is not only leaning into the allegations that he committed fraud to win the UCP leadership race in 2017, but is questionin…
POLL: 100 percent of Albertans believe province will be ruined if those assholes win the election
RED DEER, AB – A new poll has revealed that every single Albertan thinks the province will go to shit if those assholes win the upcoming election. The April 16th vote promises to be a showd…
UCP considers dropping requirement that all its candidates have experience spreading hate on social media
EDMONTON – A second UCP candidate has pulled out of the provincial election due to hateful social media posts and the UCP is starting to wonder if their insistence that candidates have a hi…
Alberta election called, voters face stark choice between environmental devastation and environmental devastation with slightly better schools
CALGARY – Premier Rachel Notley has announced the Alberta provincial election will take place on April 16, tasking Albertans with choosing between a party promising to destroy the environme…
‘Yes, I am Jason’s mother,’ says wig-wearing Kenney opening the door to allowance-claimed retirement residence
CALGARY – Journalists who visited the residency claimed by UPC Leader Jason Kenney for a housing allowance found a man who suspiciously resembled Jason Kenney wearing a wig and a night gown…
Talking snowman discovered to be Alberta man who slipped down hill
EDMONTON – A magical, talking snowman in the heart of the Edmonton river valley was recently identified as Brad Fishman, 48, who had slipped down a snowy hill three weeks earlier. “I was ju…
Comrade Kenney demands Alberta politburo lower oil quotas
EDMONTON – Comrade Jason Kenney, member of the United Commissar Party is demanding Premier Notley’s politburo decrease oil production by 10 percent. Comrade Kenney made a stirring speech ra…
Jason Kenney claims he has ‘evolved’ from an anti-LGBTQ politician to one who doesn’t admit it while being recorded
CALGARY – After a recording released this week revealed that, in 2000, UCP leader Jason Kenney took strong positions against gay marriage and gay adoption, Kenny is defending himself by poi…
Alberta UCP vows parents will be alerted at first sign child shows any progressive leanings
RED DEER, AB – The United Conservative Party passed a motion at their convention this past weekend to require that teachers notify parents if their children display signs of holding any sor…
