VICTORIA – A motley crew of Alberta pipeline crusaders is threatening a full scale war with British Columbia unless they promptly approve safe passage for their precious diluted bitumen. Th…
Tag: Jason Kenney
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
Can you get out of going to Pride?…
Alberta Wildrose, PC parties merge into single oil company
CALGARY – Alberta Wildrose and Progressive Conservative Party members have voted 95 per cent in favour of ratifying the agreement to join forces to create a dominant right-wing internationa…
‘Randy’ from Trailer Park Boys wins Alberta PC leadership
CALGARY – The character known as ‘Randy’ from the hit Canadian television show Trailer Park Boys has been elected leader of the Alberta PCs in landslide. Wearing an uncharacteristic shirt a…
Tory refugee Jason Kenney treks thousands of kilometers westward to seek better life
OTTAWA – Former Conservative MP Jason Kenney has made the decision to flee Ottawa and make a perilous 3,500 km journey across dangerous territory to seek a new life in Alberta. After the Li…
Jason Kenney spontaneously combusts after court permits niqab for citizenship ceremony
CALGARY — In what authorities are calling a rare instance of spontaneous human combustion, Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney burst into flames upon hearing the Federal Court of Appeal …
Jason Kenney delivers speech with perfect, unaccented bigotry
CALGARY — In an effort to stir up Conservative supporters, Multiculturalism Minister Jason Kenney delivered a patriotic speech with impeccable and unaccented bigotry. “Wow, he must be from …
Harper pledges all Conservative candidates will be potty trained by time they take office
OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Conservatives claim Canada only country in the world to successfully deny deficit
OTTAWA – Despite a report from the Parliamentary Budget Officer indicating that the nation’s budget will not be balanced, the Conservatives triumphantly announced today that Canada is the f…
Justin Trudeau tries to avoid looking at portrait of father during annual Parliamentary orgy
OTTAWA – Despite saying he still “enjoyed the experience” and found it “quite rewarding” Liberal leader Justin Trudeau admitted it was a little tough to perform during the annual taxpayer f…
