TORONTO – Ontario Premier Doug Ford was sent to the emergency room after injuring both hands from repetitive finger-wagging during a recent COVID-19 press conference. Ford’s two index finge…
Tag: Doug Ford
Ford scolds people for irresponsibly following rules he set
QUEEN’S PARK – With a recent uptick in Covid 19 cases in the Toronto, Peel and Ottawa regions, Doug Ford has called on Ontarians to take all possible precautions, to keep indoor gathe…
Ford announces all large weddings must now take place in classrooms
TORONTO – Amid concerns over rising coronavirus cases in Ontario, Doug Ford tightened social gathering limits in hotspot areas in order to stem the spread of the virus. As a result of the new num…
Local teacher’s health lesson plan just letting class go home
VAUGHN, ON – With schools resuming classes despite the ongoing pandemic, high school teacher Erin Jorna has decided the most logical plan she can have for health class is to dismiss her stu…
Premier Ford outraged federal government not doing his job
TORONTO – Premier Doug Ford expressed his frustration and outrage that the federal government is not doing his job. “622 people were caught by provincial and municipal police forces breakin…
SIU decides to drop “Investigations” from name
TORONTO – After once again clearing all police officers of any wrongdoing in the death of another Black Torontonian, the Special Investigations Unit has opted to remove the word “Investigat…
200 Ontario cops hired to force teachers back into schools
TORONTO – Ontario’s PC government is hiring an additional 200 OPP officers to force any unruly teachers back into classrooms. “My friends, teacher unions are the greatest threat to the heal…
Ontario government announces plan to blame the feds if school reopening plan goes wrong
TORONTO – The Ontario government announced its new plan to blame the federal government in the event that their plan to reopen schools during a pandemic backfires. “Parents will know that i…
Doug Ford pleads with own reflection to let him lower class sizes
TORONTO – After saying that if it was up to him he’d keep class sizes at 5 kids due to the COVID pandemic, Ontario Premier Doug Ford was spotted pleading with his reflection to let him lowe…
Toronto Catholic schools to reopen so kids will be with God sooner
TORONTO – The Toronto Catholic School Board has announced that schools will reopen with regular class sizes in the hopes that students will get sick and join God sooner. “The government isn…
