Caption contest rules
Rules for The Beaverton online headline competition 1. The competition is open to all users of the The Beaverton website. The Beaverton writers and anyone connected to The Beaverton may contribut…
Don’t be crazy, Elvis Presley died in 1977
By Alvin Priestly You know, every so often I’ll stumble across a news story about some person who thinks they’ve seen Elvis somewhere. Maybe they saw him in a blue Dodge B100 parked outside of Rh…
GTA starts drive to Canada’s Wonderland three weeks early to beat rush
TORONTO – Feeling the need to get a head start on traffic and line-ups, over half the city of Toronto began driving to Canada’s Wonderland this Sunday, three-weeks in advance of its opening…
Government on missing $3.1 billion: ‘We left a nice tip’
OTTAWA – Responding to the Auditor General’s scathing report that revealed $3.1 billion unaccounted for in anti-terrorism funding, the Harper government defended itself claiming it was a generous…
Canada opts for pull-out method instead of environmental protection
OTTAWA – After withdrawing from a UN anti-drought convention late last month, the Harper government announced today that it will rely on the pull-out method as its default policy for future envir…
45 minutes into brunch, engaged couple still talking about their seating chart
CALGARY – Nearly an hour into their meal at Cassis Bistro, sources were reporting that engaged couple Matt Saracen and Julie Taylor were still sorting out the details of who would sit where…
I’m pretty sure I would be in this exact same position even if Pierre Trudeau wasn’t my dad
By Justin Trudeau In the wake of my recent election as leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, I’ve noticed that one or two media outlets have suggested that my success may somehow be related to m…
The Junos happened, sources report
OTTAWA- A Canadian awards show that honours musical achievements by Canadian artists and bands recently occurred, according to a number of sources. “Yep, that was this month, I think,” one source…
Local man disappointed ‘Medieval Times’ nothing like ‘Game of Thrones’
TORONTO – After an evening at the family dinner theatre ‘Medieval Times’, local ‘Game of Thrones’ aficionado and self-proclaimed medievalist David Brock departed in deep disappointment. “Wh…
Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish is retiring
Known as a staunch defender of civil liberties, Supreme Court of Canada Justice Morris Fish announced his retirement earlier this week. What’s your say? “I hope he receives a giant no…
