Burnaby, BC – Citing the extraordinarily long line-up she had caused, patrons of a local GoodLife Fitness Center recently expressed annoyance at a woman using the location’s only water fountain to fil...
Man who lives in PATH willing to guide topsider to Eaton Centre, for a price
TORONTO – One of the many residents of Toronto’s underground system of pedestrian walkways, ‘the PATH’, is willing to guide topsiders through the tunnels to the Eaton Centre, in return for a sma...
Tony Clement blasts CBC for unethical practice of expecting him to answer questions
OTTAWA – Conservative MP Tony Clement took to social media this week to air his grievances with the CBC over the broadcaster’s unscrupulous interview tactic of expecting clear answers to simple questi...
Truck nuts so manly it has its own set of truck nuts
Spruce Grove, AB – Early reports indicate that a local man’s set of truck nuts is so masculine, it has its own set of truck nuts. The plastic hitch accessory shaped as a pair testicles was seen ...
7 cartoons from the 80’s that describe the lack of purpose in your life
80s cartoons were the best! You used to love hanging out on the couch all day watching them, back before that became just one of many signs that your life was directionless and your dreams were slowly...
“Regular Al” Yankovic writes yet another normal hit
A SENSIBLE DISTANCE FROM HOLLYWOOD – The latest song from universally-acknowledged recording artist “Regular Al” Yankovic has middled out at a respectable 23 on the Billboard music charts....
Poll suggests 75% of Canadians sick of other 25% always embarrassing them
OTTAWA – A new Angus Reid poll has found that nearly one in four Canadians favours imposing a Trump style Muslim Ban on immigration, while the other three Canadians are sick of that guy being su...
Simon & Schuster, CPAC sever ties with Milo Yiannopoulos after finally googling him for first time ever
NEW YORK – Notorious Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos has lost business deals with Simon & Schuster and the Conservative Political Action Conference after both finally bothered to research...
Entire family unsure who actually wanted to go on cruise
INTERNATIONAL WATERS – Speaking from the middle of a 7 day Caribbean cruise, members of the Webster family are at an absolute loss to explain who thought going on a cruise would be any fun whats...
MFA student in 7th year realizes he’s living the plot of Groundhog Day
Kingston, ON – While watching the film Groundhog Day in his one bedroom apartment on Princess Street, Queen’s University MFA Candidate Charles Rumple stumbled upon the realization that he too wa...
