MFA student in 7th year realizes he’s living the plot of Groundhog Day - The Beaverton
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MFA student in 7th year realizes he’s living the plot of Groundhog Day

Kingston, ON – While watching the film in his one bedroom apartment on Princess Street, Queen’s University Candidate Charles Rumple stumbled upon the realization that he too was living the same day over and over again.

As Rumple explained, “Each day is the same. I wake, I eat, I think about writing my Master’s thesis, I don’t write my Master’s thesis and then I go to sleep. Day after day, year after year, my life repeats itself.”

Although at first merely suspicious that his life was repeating itself in perpetuity, he began to find a number of clues that definitively showed he was living inside the plot of the 1993 film starring Bill Murray.

“I realized that I knew the most minute details of everyone’s life in a small city” Rumple elaborated. “I knew the ambitions and worries of the waitresses at Peter’s Place, Morrison’s, Stooley’s and Megalos. I knew that the female staff at the downtown Dollarama were secretly lusting after the the male staffers at the downtown Dollar Tree. I knew that the bartender at the Toucan was once a Mexican luchador. I knew everything.” Rumple sighed wearily, “The world had become so small.”

Concerned about his realization, Rumple reached out to his thesis advisor, Professor Michael Saunders, to help him understand the import of his unique situation.

As Professor Saunders explained, “I am afraid that Charles’ life is very much like the life of Bill Murray’s character in the film, only Charles is constantly putting off the completion of his Master’s thesis as opposed to learning French poetry or improving the lives of the indigent. Oh, and there’s no love story in Charles’ life as grad students are of course, in almost all cases, sexless eunuchs.”

Although initially saddened by the realization that he was caught in a never ending time loop, Rumple has begun to see the benefits inherent to his unique situation.

“Like Bill Murray’s character in the film, I’ve attempted to make the most of this endless stream of time that God seems to have given me. For instance, I recently bought a hacky sack. Next year I might move onto ice sculpting,” Rumple stated optimistically.

According to sources, Rumple intends to spend the next week rewatching the television series Community on Netflix.

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