Trudeau celebrates one year in office with #TBT Instagram collage
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau enthusiastically marked one year in office with a tasteful and sentimental Instagram collage. “What better way to celebrate the Liberal party’s landsl…
Local man repeatedly tries to order pizza on crashing website rather than call human being
FREDERICTON – Local electrical apprentice Mike Brenton is reportedly on his fifth attempt to order pizza on a crashing website, in a desperate attempt to avoid a two-minute phone conversati…
Trudeau: Only 39.5% of people voted for electoral reform
OTTAWA — Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Liberal government is backing away from a promise on electoral reform by claiming they didn’t get enough votes in the past federal election to refor…
Local mom smells bar of lavender soap for 36 hours straight
HALIFAX — Local mother of three Sandy Berman had local authorities baffled last week when she stopped to smell a bar of lavender soap at a farmers’ market for over 36 consecutive hours. Wit…
Is Canada too needy for Justin Trudeau?
Is Canada too needy to hang on to our hot PM? Meet The Beaverton’s new Anchors, Emma Hunter and Miguel Rivas, as they debate. The Beaverton TV show premieres November 9th at 10:30 pm on Co…
Melania Trump reassures nation husband has moral agency of small boy
NEW YORK — In an interview yesterday with CNN’s Anderson Cooper, Melania Trump sought to calm public concern about her husband’s attitude toward sexual assault by reminding voters that he has the…
Gritty Kingston Police horse transferred to desk duty while Internal Affairs investigates
KINGSTON – The Kingston Police horse known for bending rules and not taking any shit has been transferred to administrative duties while the Department’s Internal Affairs investigates her c…
Roman philosopher Seneca disappointed in college named after him
TORONTO – Seneca, the roman stoic philosopher and advisor to Roman Emperor Nero, has voiced his displeasure at the college that carries his name. “I know I teach that we should all strive t…
Dr. Deadgrave Scary-Boo struggling to think of fun Twitter name for Halloween
MIRAMICHI, NB – After racking his brain for hours, local ophthalmologist Dr. Deadgrave Scary-Boo has been unable to think of a clever Halloween themed name change for his Twitter profile. “…
Vancouver Ferrari dealership announces diamond-encrusted “new driver” decal upgrade
VANCOUVER – Vancouver’s Ferrari dealership has launched a luxury “New Driver” decal upgrade option. The premium sticker caters to the teenage offspring of ultra-rich parents who are for som…
