Did you know that four out of five people don’t get nearly enough iron in their diets? This can cause a whole slew of health problems, and might also be the reason that your parents are getting a divorce right now. Here are six amazing high-iron foods that might just get your folks to call off those lawyers, but maybe not because that’s a really specific scenario.
1. Roasted pumpkin seeds
Vases may be flying across the room, but as soon as these seeds go flying into their mouths your parents will find the inner strength needed to confront their differences head on. No guarantees though, we do not know the circumstances.
2. Cooked spinach
Have you overheard your mother saying “I wish I could love you how I once did Darryl, if only your iron levels were higher.” Get your dad a heaping helping of Popeye’s favourite treat, and you won’t be hearing that much longer. Though this only helps in this very specific situation, of course.
3. Venison
Yummy! Venison is just the thing to pump up those iron levels, and we’ll bet anything that the smell of a well-seasoned roast can lure your dad out of that cheap motel he’s staying in. Actually, maybe not anything. Your parents seem pretty pissed off at each other.
4. Oysters
Ooh la la. If intimacy is a problem then this kills two birds with one high-iron shellfish. But who knows, maybe intimacy is a problem because somebody can’t stop fucking their coworkers. Or whatever their deal is; it’s something new every day with them.
5. Lentils
Lentils may seem boring, but this versatile food is full of all kinds of nutrients and is sure to stop all that talk of alimony. Unless their divorce has nothing to do with nutrients or lack thereof, which from what I’m understanding seems very possible – even likely.
6. Watermelon
Our last food is a real treat! Watermelons are absolutely delicious and chock-full of iron. Though maybe find someone to share with, I don’t see how a single child could finish a whole watermelon by themselves. I don’t see how a single child could have possibly kept a broken marriage together either. I’m so sorry.
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