Local man somehow always wakes up in Peterborough every time he gets blackout drunk
PETERBOROUGH, ON – After a late night spent drinking with friends and bar-hopping, Toronto man Mackenzie Phillips woke up in Peterborough yet again this morning. “Oh geez bud, the ‘borough …
Local dad wakes screaming from nightmare in which he failed to beat weekend traffic
TORONTO – Carson Evans, a local father of three, awoke last night in a cold sweat after having a nightmare in which he failed to beat cottage traffic on a Friday afternoon. “Leave… Leave at…
Snob only reads novelizations of films
REGINA, SK – Searching for authentic storytelling, local coffee shop assistant manager Shawn Brockston says he is done with mainstream Hollywood films, opting to only read the novelizations…
French Stewart casts deciding vote to expel German Stewart from Stewropean Union
BRUSSELS – Following weeks of debate and referendum, actor French Stewart has cast the decisive vote to have German Stewart removed from the European association of Stewarts known as the Stewrope…
Local family horrified to realize Jingle All The Way has become holiday tradition
KAMLOOPS – After several years, the MacPherson family have ruefully acknowledged that, at some point, they will feel compelled to watch Jingle All The Way as part of their annual holiday ce…
Amber’s Alert
Meet The Beaverton’s new Beauty expert.…
Excited Brad Wall races down stairs only to find presents in stocking again
REGINA – Saskatchewan Premier Brad Wall faced a disappointing Christmas morning today, after shooting out of bed and running down the stairs only to find gifts in his stocking yet again. “M…
Local miser visited on Christmas by three Frankensteins
LONDON, ENGLAND – Due to a high demand for helpful ghosts on Christmas Eve, elderly businessman and heartless miser Agamemnon Scoggs was forced to endure a cautionary visit from three Frank…
6 juices as raw as your holiday family interactions
Whatever your family holiday breaking point looks like—whether it’s dropping bitter truths at the dinner table, screaming in a parked car, or punching through a lampshade—there’s a raw juice for …
Canadians Try Russian Stuff For The First Time: BeavFeed
Russia please don’t hack us! New BeavFeed video every Saturday morning, putting the #content back in Canadian content.…
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