LOS ANGELES – In a recent USA Today article, actor Ben Affleck announced that he is figuring out a “cool way” to get out of being Ben Affleck as soon as possible. Affleck said that role of “bein...
CRTC rules that 20% of illegal torrents must be CanCon
Ottawa – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission has ruled that 20% of all content illegally downloaded must be produced in Canada and have noticeable Canadian themes. “F...
Julian Fantino opens marijuana store in Veterans Affairs office he closed
WINDSOR, ON – Former Minister of Veterans Affairs Julian Fantino is opening up a pot shop in one of the nine Veterans Affairs offices he closed in 2014. The former Conservative MP turned cannabi...
Amazon to build second headquarters in Toronto after city accidently subscribes to Prime
TORONTO – Out of 238 contenders, Amazon, Inc. has finally chosen Toronto as the location of its second headquarters, after the city unwittingly subscribed to Amazon Prime. ““We are pleased Toronto too...
Report: Your friend is brewing kombucha now, so there’s that
LAVAL, QC – Early reports show that just when you thought you had even less to talk about with your friend, she has decided to go all in on home-brewing kombucha. Instead of buying a packaged ki...
Meet the world’s first hockey parent coach
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton....
Andrew Scheer’s new slogan: “You’re going to sit there and like Canada or I’m turning this car around!”
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has released a new, stern motto: “You’re going to sit there and like Canada or I’m turning this car around!” The Conservative Party captured Scheer’s q...
Local man unknowingly driving spirit animal extinct
VANCOUVER, BC- Sources confirm local man Greg Lommens continues to contribute to the endangerment of his spirit animal, the loggerhead turtle. “I was stoked when that quiz from Buzzfeed told me my spi...
Teacher strike ‘great experience’ for Ontario college students taking Labour Studies
TORONTO – As the Ontario college faculty strike approaches the one-month mark, students enrolled in Labour Studies programs continue to experience what many colleges are calling a “bonus co-op placeme...
Roy Moore going door to door to campaign, tell people he’s a sex offender
Roy Moore’s new campaign strategy…...
