Attention recent University grads! Now that you’ve studied for years and gone into thousands of dollars of debt it’s time to find a low-paying job for the next ten years until enough Boomers ret...
Victory: Canadians celebrate Team Canada’s default participation in 2026 World Cup
MOSCOW – Canada has broken its decades old drought of participating in the World Cup after pulling off a shocking victory by co-hosting the global competition in 2026 and therefore a spot in the...
Love hack! Pete Davidson got a tattoo of everyone he met until someone agreed to marry him
After a whirlwind three week romance, comedian Pete Davidson and pop messiah Ariana Grande are engaged! But how did their relationship escalate from DMs to ‘I do’s’? Davidson lets us in on his little ...
Trudeau responds to escalating trade war by mobilizing nation’s Settlers of Catan players
OTTAWA – In addition to new levies on American goods, Justin Trudeau has reacted to US President Trump’s escalating trade war by calling in Canada’s most skilled players of Settlers of Catan. “T...
Canada gains numerous concessions from Trump after becoming a ruthless dictatorship pursuing WMDs
OTTAWA – US tariffs on Canadian aluminum and steel have been promptly lifted after Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has impressed US President Donald Trump with numerous human rights violations, el...
Patriotism: This Canadian chugs a carton of milk to show support for the dairy board even though he’s lactose intolerant
Donald Trump’s attack on Canada’s Dairy Board has inspired one proud Canuck to show his country will not be intimidated by drinking 2 L of pure Canadian milk despite the fact he’s lactose intolerant. ...
Local woman suggests stopping at the ‘good’ ONroute
PORT HOPE, ON – After repeatedly being asked to pull over so that her driving companion could go pee, Hannah Weisman insisted on forgoing several rest stops in favour of the ‘good’ ONroute. “You...
Tim Hortons drops even further in consumer trust rankings after introducing bitcoin donut
HAMILTON – After falling in Canadian consumer trust due to their response to the minimum wage hike, Tim Horton’s dropped another 46 places this week thanks to their latest specialty item, the Bi...
Doug Ford to walk in Pride Parade only if Toronto Police allowed to beat path of gays in his way
TORONTO – Performing a symbolic act of support for the LGBT+ community, Ontario Premier designate, Doug Ford, says he will walk in Toronto’s Pride Parade on June 23rd but only if the Toronto Pol...
Trump admin escalates trade war with Canada by renaming Canadian Bacon ‘Cuck Ham’
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the midst of a tariff dispute with Canada, the Trump admin has moved to escalate the conflict by demanding all American grocery stores and restaurant refer to the cut of por...
