Make-Out Point officially renamed “Butt-Stuff Hill”

GRADSVILLE, AB –  “Make-Out Point,” the spot which overlooks the city and has served as a romantic getaway for young couples to drive to since the 1950s, was officially been renamed “Butt-S…

Zombie therapist wants patients to know that they can’t keep running from their problems

TORONTO – Licensed therapist and recently alive man Dr. Mark Conway wishes everyone would understand that simply fleeing from their problems is unhelpful, unhealthy, and frankly, a little s…

Take it from me, an opinion columnist with no expertise, the MMIWG Commission’s use of the term genocide is wrong

By: Hubert Anderson I hate to be the one to say it, because I consider myself a long time supporter of indigenous Canadians. But in my opinion the claim in the MMIWG Final Report that the deaths …

Ottawa residents spontaneously construct trailer park after third tornado

OTTAWA – Locals from the Ottawa-Gatineau area have spontaneously constructed an extensive trailer park to fit its new role as Canada’s tornado alley. Over 200 mobile homes and trailers have…

Money finally arrives in your account after harrowing 5-day transfer

TORONTO – Overcoming seemingly impossible odds after having faced a gruelling heroic journey deep within the bowels of the financial system, the $67.89 you transferred from PayPal to your b…

Corner store clerks have busy weekend issuing lifetime bans to disruptive customers

TORONTO – Clerks at corner stores across the province were kept busy last weekend kicking out elected officials performing staged photos in front of empty shelves and issuing them lifetime …

Trump fails to notice that Royals sent cast of “The Crown” to greet him

LONDON — While in London on an official state visit, US President Donald Trump failed to recognize that Buckingham Palace had sent the cast of Netflix’s The Crown in place of the actual Roy…

Volunteer announces plan to build white saviour complex in Africa

TORONTO – In a well meaning attempt to uphold and reinforce neo-colonialism, volunteer Rebecca “Becky” Smith-Anderson has submitted a proposition to build a white saviour complex somewhere …

Life Hack: This woman paid off her debts entirely by switching to men’s products!

Listen up ladies, life is expensive enough. But do you ever get that sneaking suspicion that you’re paying way too much for everyday items just because you identify as female? Well then congratul…

Jason Kenney vows to sue wildfires for defaming oil industry

EDMONTON – After wildfire smoke blanketed Edmonton yesterday and forced the cancellation of what should have been a triumphant celebration of the repeal of Alberta’s carbon tax, Premier Jas…