Ford encourages families to spend Thanksgiving together by getting jobs at same indoor restaurant

QUEEN’S PARK – As the Province introduces new restrictions on social contact in response to COVID-19, Premier Doug Ford has assured families they can absolutely still spend Thanksgiving tog…

Trudeau mobilizes troops to border in response to Rick Moranis attack

OTTAWA – Following the news that Canadian national treasure Rick Moranis was assaulted in New York City, Prime Minister Trudeau has ordered the full Canadian Armed Forces to amass on the US…

Fuming Donald Trump tells Putin vaccine didn’t work

WASHINGTON – After testing positive for COVID-19, an irate U.S. President Donald Trump called Russian President Vladimir Putin on Friday morning to tell him that the Russian-made vaccine he was g…

Global security threat infects global security threat

WASHINGTON – A dangerous threat to global stability and human health announced he has contracted a dangerous threat to global stability and human health. The deadly pair have ruined nationa…

Shredder refuses to denounce Foot Clan

NEW YORK CITY – After telling the Foot Clan to, “stand by”, prominent New York businessman and armoured, ninja guy, Shredder, is under heavy fire for his refusal to denounce the group. “I d…

Saskatchewan judge sentences another drunk driver to run for provincial office

REGINA – As a part of his sentencing, another Saskatchewan man will serve as a candidate in the upcoming provincial election. Jake Brown, a 43-year-old clerk from Yorkton, will now be the S…

Experts say new limits on social gatherings a great way to exclude that loser Greg

TORONTO – In response to the spike of Covid 19 cases across much of the nation, provinces are introducing new, stricter limits on the amount of people who are allowed to meet, which many ex…

5 ways to suggest an open marriage that all end in divorce

Though you may not have signed up for an open marriage when you said “I do,” that doesn’t mean you and your spouse can’t rewrite the rules mid-game! Here are five subtle ways to casually bring up…

Group of 14 drinking together at bar claim they are part of same 10 person bubble

Sarnia, ON – A group of 14 people who spent last night drinking and partying in very close proximity to one another say it’s fine because they are all in a 10 person bubble together. …

Trump writes off debate loss on taxes

CLEVELAND – US President Donald Trump has written off his debate loss to former Vice President Joe Biden on his taxes saving him $5 million in refunds. Despite a time-tested strategy of con…