Study: “Dream cheating” revealed as number one cause of divorce among psychics
TORONTO – A new study conducted by the University of Toronto has found that the phenomenon known as “dream cheating” narrowly beat out heart line incompatibility and the unexpected presence of “T…
Quebec homeless required to find homes by 8pm every day
QUEBEC – Premier François Legault announced that as part of the new pandemic curfew starting in Quebec, all homeless people will be required to find homes by 8pm every evening. “We need the…
Trump releases another message to yesterday’s Capitol rioters: “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always”
WASHINGTON, DC – Following yesterday’s attempted coup, U.S. President Donald Trump has released a video message asking his supporters to stand down and adding that “he’ll love them forever,…
“Georgia saved America!” says American who called it a state of brainless hicks last week
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA – “I’m so proud of Georgia for delivering the Senate to the Democrats,” lifelong Californian Steven Carter wrote on Facebook today, after recently dismissing the entire st…
O’ Toole clarifies only criminals in prison shouldn’t be vaccinated; Criminals in government still good to get theirs
BOWMANVILLE- After receiving backlash for his tweet that criminals should not be inoculated with the COVID vaccine before health care and front line workers, Leader of the Conservative Party of C…
Canadian physios overwhelmed as nation injured patting itself on the back
FORT LANGLEY, BC – Physiotherapists nationwide are reporting a sudden influx of Canadians who have been injured trying to pat themselves on the back after witnessing the chaos erupting in t…
Twitter suspends Trump’s Twitter account after waking up from four-year coma
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Twitter finally suspended Donald Trump’s account for twelve hours today after the President released a video praising a violent mob of his supporters who stormed the Uni…
Capitol Hill Police too tied up with 3 BLM protesters to deal with storming of Congress
WASHINGTON D.C. – Capitol Hill Police were unable to deal with hundreds of Trump supporters who stormed the Congressional Building earlier today since most of their resources were aimed at …
Your racist boss leads session on diversity in the workplace
YOUR TOWN, CANADA – Today, your boss, who is best known for making racist jokes and getting the names of your Black colleagues confused, will be holding a session on diversity and inclusion. “HR …
