Report: Puppy calendar filled with uggos this year
EDMONTON – The latest report compiled by market experts has revealed that the 2021 release from noted calendar brand “Omg Pups!” is filled with absolute uggos this year. The newest 13-month…
Canadians relieved our right-wing, authoritarian politicians not charismatic enough to inspire Coups
OTTAWA – In the wake of the attempted storming of the US Capitol Building, Canadians are expressing relief that our many far-right, anti-democrat politicians are too bland to inspire an arm…
Trump spends weekend just fucking unloading on Tumblr
WASHINGTON D.C. – After getting himself permanently banned from social media sites including Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, President Donald J. Trump reportedly spent the entire weekend …
Local woman optimistically transfers all 2020 goals to her new 2021 planner
Flin Flon, MB – Local woman Jessica Thames has optimistically transferred all of her 2020 goals into her brand new 2021 planner using her ‘the future is yours’ engraved pen. Thames came up …
Conservative Party demands MPs give back all the pro-Trump paraphernalia they handed out
OTTAWA – All Conservative MPs have been ordered to return all MAGA hats, t-shirts, bracelets, and other types of pro-Trump gear that was distributed by the party before the US Presidential …
Aw, heck! Borkin pupperino did a big zoomie into oncoming traffic
The smol boi had a honkin big frighten and received a chonky cast for his snoot. Three hoomans were killed.…
Data breach raises concerns that someone now knows how stupid your passwords are
TORONTO – A recent data breach has compromised the privacy of roughly 100,000 Canadians, leaving many folks concerned that someone, somewhere is judging their choice of passwords. “Trying t…
Canada’s military to vaccinate aging equipment first
OTTAWA – The Canadian Armed Forces announced it will prioritize the oldest and most vulnerable military equipment for COVID-19 vaccination. With the average age of their equipment often two…
5 ways to console a man’s ego after calling him out on his shit
Did you disagree with a man? Is he sulking but he won’t tell you why? Are you now stuck in this odd place where he’s mad at you for calling him out, even though you were absolutely in the right t…
Middle school girl swears her eyes change colour on command, it’s just not working right now
LONDON, ON – Sources report middle school student Jasmine Keller recently claimed in front of her whole 7th grade class that her eyes change colour on command, yet when she got up to show e…
