BURNABY, BC – Local woman, Nadine Tarzi, speaks out about definitely not wanting children and subsequently struggling with the possibility of never actually having any children.
“The idea of bringing a child into this unequal, climate change-ridden and capitalist nightmare of a system we’ve built is horrifying. I definitely don’t want kids…but then again what if I never have kids?” agonizes Tarzi.
The concept of wanting something but not wanting it at the same time is not new to the human experience.
Tarzi continues, “Life is so hard that sometimes I would prefer if I was dead, but I definitely don’t want to die. It’s kind of like how I want access to Masterclass but I’m afraid that I’ll eventually get it and then I’ll have to watch Tony Hawk teach me to skateboard, Tarzi added. “Anyway, what if I regret not having kids? Or worse, regret having them?”
One user, UsedToHaveNiceVag, opines “Parents will say anything for you to join the club of misery, then they turn their backs and shame you for struggling to adjust. This world is sick. And I am sick of this toddler terrorist in my home dictating my every move for some fucking Cheerios.”
There are often many less harrowing once-in-a-lifetime experiences that women have to forsake in order to make use of that narrow window of opportunity their biology mandates.
“I want to spend my youth seeing the world, becoming an entrepreneur, and taking shits without interruption. I don’t want kids, but I know there’s only so much time before my eggs disintegrate and the decision is made for me…I mean it’s not like I’m Steve Martin or Alec Baldwin or Robert DeNiro or David Letterman or…” Tarzi trailed off naming more old white guys than you would think would apply to such a situation.
At press time, Tarzi has decided to compromise and spend a mere $50,000 on freezing her eggs.