MUSKOKA – As the weather gets warmer, it’s natural to feel a little vulnerable about showing extra skin, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tina Fontina, entomologist and personal trainer, is here wi...
Sportsnet apologises for interrupting gambling commercial with hockey
TORONTO – Sportsnet has issued an apology to its viewers after several minutes of a hockey game were broadcast without a single reference to gambling. “At Sportsnet, the last thing we want to do is s...
Poll: Majority of Canadians favour making sports betting illegal again just to get rid of the fucking ads
OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has confirmed that the vast majority of Canadians would favour de-legalizing sports betting if it means the incessant ads would finally stop. “When the go...
With midterms approaching, many fear democrats are running out of time to completely alienate the left
Washington – With only six months until the 2022 midterm election, many within the Democratic National Committee are worried that the young, energetic, left wing voter base behind candidates lik...
Editorial: Having the right to control your own body taken away is no reason to be rude!
By: James Kulenschmidt Ladies, I get it. You don’t like the leaked U.S. Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade. You think you should have the right to control your own reproductive syste...
Amid rising gas prices, Flintstone cars top sales
OTTAWA, ON — Flinstone cars, officially known as Cavemobiles, top car sales in Canada amid rising gas prices as Canadians try to cut costs wherever they can. With gas prices well above 170 cents/litre...
Toddler better at using iPad than local man is at doing anything
Regina, SK – Local man Michael Edugyan has realized that the 3 year old toddler seated near him at this restaurant is better at using her iPad than he is at doing everything in his life. “...
PROFILE: Who is Steven Del Duca? No seriously, can someone please tell me?
Steven Del Duca is the Ontario Liberal Party’s new leader and candidate for Premier. So just who is Steven Del Duca? No seriously, I’m honestly asking. Which one is he again? His first name and ovular...
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
VANCOUVER – It was last Saturday, a brisk afternoon on Main Street, just North of 5th Avenue. I was the person walking their wiener dog. You were the public urinator. When I saw you there, hunch...
