TORONTO – In a bold new move, restaurants are adding the option to tip your server’s whole salary. After successful tipping increases to 20% and even 30%, business owners decided to keep it going and ...
Hockey Canada insists it can change its culture without replacing leadership, changing culture
OTTAWA – As they continue to resist calls for institutional change, Hockey Canada officials are promising Canadians that they will be able to eliminate the rape culture currently pervasive in yo...
5 fun or cheap activities to make the most of summer, and yes, we did mean “or”
OTTAWA – The long weekend is coming up, and you’re seeking ways of maximizing your time while minimizing your expenses. But every listicle promising low-cost excitement disappoints you with loca...
Conservatives explain why they are supporting Pierre Poilievre for Leader
With Pierre Poilievre expected to be chosen as Conservative Party Leader this week, we sat down with Conservative Party members who explained why they voted for him. Sven McDaniels (Accountant) “...
“Now that Canadian home prices have dropped, I can finally afford a house!” says maybe one person, maybe
TORONTO – After a recent drop in the Canadian housing market, city dweller and accounts manager, Benedict Witt, 34, has become the only person that is considering he may now be able to afford to...
Labour Day parade “not communist enough” for small town
ROBERTS, AB — A spectre is haunting Roberts—the spectre of not enough Communism. Town residents are upset that the town’s annual Labour Day parade hasn’t gone far enough to “release the proletariat o...
Deep-fried insulin huge hit at CNE
TORONTO — Each August food merchants at the CNE try to outdo each other with a new wild snack. Previous years have seen runaway hits with things like the spaghetti donut and ketchup-flavored ice...
No one is ever productive working from home declare CEOs working from Barbados
Sandy Lane, Barbados – A group of Fortune 500 CEOs met over lunch at their Barbados country club to discuss how no one is ever productive when working from home. After two and a half years of wo...
Umpire excited for son to watch him get screamed at
TORONTO – According to local sources, Umpire Thomas Beck is thrilled that his 12-year-old son will have the opportunity to watch him work and be heckled at a Major League Baseball game. “Knowing Clayt...
Top 3 Arcade Fire albums to listen to super quick before they’re officially canceled
While it might come as a shock to anyone who isn’t a young woman who frequents hipster bars in Montreal, a bombshell article released on Pitchfork has reported that multiple women have come forward wi...
