OTTAWA – Darcy Chen’s first visit to the National Gallery of Canada quickly became sidetracked by the appearance of a mystery woman whose subtle head movement indicated she knew more about art t...
Canada shocked to find out it was once ranked the best country in the world
OTTAWA – Stupfication gripped the nation when U.S. News announced Canada had slipped from its first-place rating on their list of best countries in the world, with no Canadian really sure how th...
Justin Trudeau living embodiment of what happens when theatre kids aren’t bullied enough
OTTAWA – In a dire warning issued yesterday, Canada’s theatre students and their high school bullies joined together in pointing to Justin Trudeau as the single worst embodiment of what can happ...
Country full of people who hate Toronto gears up to root for its baseball team
TORONTO – As the Toronto Blue Jays get ready to host the Seattle Mariners in the MLB Playoffs this weekend, the approximately 33 million Canadians who don’t live in Toronto are getting rea...
Everything you need to know about Danielle Smith
The members of The United Conservative Party of Alberta has chosen Danielle Smith as its new leader and because we’re just barely a democracy, that means she also gets to be Premier of a majorit...
Alberta finally freed from woke agenda of left-wing ideologue Jason Kenney
EDMONTON – Upon the news that Danielle Smith has won the UCP leadership race and will be the province’s new premier, Albertans heaved a collective sigh of relief that socialist madman Jason Kenn...
Tim Hortons somehow more reputable than Hockey Canada
TORONTO – The nation was stunned and confused this week after the actions taken by two pillars of Canadian society resulted in the disorienting feeling that Tim Hortons is now a more reputable i...
Nation shocked that Poilievre would bother hiding connection to misogynists
OTTAWA – In the wake of a damming Global News Report that Pierre Poilievre used a hidden tag in his YouTube videos to appeal to online misogynistic groups, Canadians from coast to coast are wond...
Experts debate who is faster: Connor McDavid or The Sponsors fleeing Hockey Canada
TORONTO – For years Connor McDavid has been seen as the fastest force in hockey but now insiders are wondering whether he has been bested by a new competitor: the sponsors getting away from Hock...
