ATLANTIC CITY — While investigating a reportedly-haunted amusement park, four local teen sleuths and their crime-solving great dane had their case halted by an unlikely source: current Pres…
U.S.
Armed U.S. teacher arrested for carrying gun containing trace amounts of peanut
EL PASO, TX — A high school teacher in Texas who was participating in a pilot program that armed teachers with guns to ensure school safety has been arrested for bringing in a gun that cont…
Witch hunt? Mueller indicts Baba Yaga on conspiracy to eat US children
WASHINGTON – In a move that seems to support President Trump’s claim that the Russia investigation is a witch hunt, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has indicted hag and Russian national Baba…
Trump dismisses closed door president-for-life comments as ‘just locker room fascism’
WASHINGTON D.C. — After being secretly recorded praising China’s President Xi Jinping for ending term limits, President Trump dismissed his autocratic comments as just “regular locker…
New security clearance policy requires Jared Kushner to hold hands with secret service agent at all times
WASHINGTON D.C. – White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has officially announced that Jared Kushner will only be granted security clearance if he promises to hold the hand of the secret service a…
NRA loses sponsorship deal with Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins
FAIRFAX, VA — In the wake of the Parkland, FL school shooting and subsequent public outcry, the NRA has lost several major sponsors including their latest: Henderson’s Child-Sized Coffins. …
Trump announces plan to arm firefighters with fire
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a bid to put an end to the longstanding epidemic of random fires breaking out across the nation, President Trump has put forward a bold plan to combat them by arming firefigh…
Republicans attack CNN for not interviewing “pro-school shooting” teens
WASHINGTON – Republican lawmakers and activists are pointing to the lack of teenage supporters of school shootings on CNN as another example of liberal bias in the media. “The question we n…
Trump insists only way to stop a bad mentally ill guy with a gun is a good mentally ill guy with a gun
Parkland, Florida – While visiting with survivors of the tragic school shooting in Florida, President Trump refused to call for gun control, and instead assured Americans, “the only thing t…
Declassified memo alleges FBI investigated Trump Campaign just because they did a bunch of crimes
WASHINGTON DC — A bombshell memo written by the House Intelligence Chair alleges the FBI opened an investigation into Trump Campaign officials based solely on the fact they done an absurd a…
