LONDON — While in London on an official state visit, US President Donald Trump failed to recognize that Buckingham Palace had sent the cast of Netflix’s The Crown in place of the actual Roy…
U.S.
Trump refuses to visit Canada until government destroys McCain SuperFries
OTTAWA – The Canadian government was contacted by Trump aides today, demanding the removal of all McCain products from Canadian food suppliers in order keep the American president from thin…
Democrats plan even more strongly-worded letter asking Trump to follow the rules please
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s press conference leaving impeachment up to Congress, House Democrats have announced they will instead send President Trump…
Worst American pardons fourth-worst Canadian
TORONTO – Canada’s fourth-worst person, Conrad Black, is celebrating alone after receiving a pardon from America’s worst individual, their president. “If being the worst is a crime,” Trump told r…
Alabama outlaws having an unoccupied uterus
MONTGOMERY, AL – In a contentious vote of 25 to 6, the legislature of the state of Alabama has passed a comprehensive bill making it a crime for anyone residing in the state to have an empt…
“I’m running for president,” Joe Biden whispers into the ears of an uncomfortable nation
WASHINGTON D.C. – Joe Biden announced his third run for the Democratic presidential nomination today by slinking his arms around the waist of The United States of America, smelling its hair…
Rudy Giuliani does interview with pringle cans stuck on both hands
NEW YORK CITY – Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and key member of Trump’s legal team, conducted a 30 minute interview with Chris Cuomo on CNN with Sour Cream and Onion Pringle …
Redacted Mueller Report reads: “████ Trump ████ ███ not ██ ████ ██ guilty ████”
WASHINGTON, DC — After refusing to release the full Mueller Report for several weeks, Attorney General William Barr has cleared the report for public consumption, which states, “██████████ …
Trump to replace outgoing DHS Secretary Nielsen with printed-out Breitbart articles
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With the announcement that Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen will step down from her role, President Trump has announced her replacement to oversee the the Department of Homelan…
Local man says father “dumb enough” to fall for history’s largest, most sophisticated propaganda network
LANSING, SOUTH DAKOTA — 25 year old business administrator Jayson Milnerd has once again expressed astonishment that his Trump-supporting father is “so ignorant” as to fall for a multibilli…
