WASHINGTON D.C. – Anti-abortion protesters were overjoyed at the March for Life rally to receive vocal support from the world’s biggest baby. In his 295th trimester, the loud, 6’2” infant r…
U.S.
BREAKING: Woman who has absorbed decades of unhinged misogynist vitriol does not like one guy
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following reports of Hillary Clinton’s strong criticisms of Bernie Sanders’ campaign and career, the nation has been staggered by the news that a woman who has endured 30 …
Sanders campaign relieved to have dodged Clinton endorsement
WASHINGTON, DC – Following revelations in a new documentary that Hillary Clinton does not support Bernie Sanders, the Sanders campaign office has responded with great relief that they have …
Trump starts trade war with Australia just to feel something
WASHINGTON D.C. -— President Donald Trump has reportedly initiated a trade war with Australia “Just so I can finally know I am truly alive.” Trump personally made the announcement of tariffs on A…
Bible on which U.S. senators swear impartiality for Trump’s impeachment trial bursts into flames
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The floor of the U.S. Senate had to be briefly evacuated today when the Christian Bible that was being used to swear in the hundred senators who will be jurors in the imp…
Trump terrified to learn GI Joe action figures he talks to actual generals
WASHINGTON, DC – President Donald Trump has expressed abject horror on discovering that the small GI Joe figures he plays with are actually high-ranking U.S. officials with the authority to imple…
Trump crosses ‘start WWIII’ off his New Year’s Resolutions list
WASHINGTON D.C. – Right after ordering the assassination of Iran’s General Suleimani a satisfied Donald Trump sat back and took a pleasant moment to cross off ‘start WWIII’ from his 2020 Ne…
House votes to give Senate a good laugh
WASHINGTON — In a move widely believed to be inspired by the good-natured cheer of the holiday season, the House of Representatives voted yesterday to give the Senate a good ol’ chuckle by …
Trump pardons serial killer Son of Sam after learning about his military service
WASHINGTON – US President Donald Trump has issued a presidential pardon to the notorious serial killer Son of Sam after Trump discovered the murderer served for three years in the United St…
America makes animal cruelty a federal crime, freeing up more cages for children
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The United States government has passed a law making animal cruelty a federal crime, a major step forward in addressing both animal rights issues and the increasingly dir…
