TORONTO – After hearing stories about the chaos caused by Toronto Transit vehicles meeting their ends in fires, crashes, and nonstop signal problems, a new bus scheduled to begin service in Toron…
Toronto
Toronto man throws going-away party for friend moving north of Bloor
TORONTO – After nine years living in the Toronto downtown core, friends and family of Brandon Miller have thrown a going away party in advance of his packing up and moving north of Bloor St…
12-year-old girl ready to take on world after purchase of puka shell necklace
CALGARY, AB — Grade 4 student and fifth in line for being most popular, Cydney Applebaum, has reported feeling ecstatic after her recent purchase of a white puka shell necklace on a recent …
Realtor has good feeling about couple that’s been complaining about housing prices for 35 minutes
TORONTO — Local realtor Ann Wilber is reportedly “getting some really good vibes” off of house hunting couple Shiela and Martin Rourke, who have been loudly decrying the unfairness of condo price…
TTC to replace shuttle buses with being pushed off cliff in barrel full of eels
TORONTO – The Toronto Transit Commission announced plans today to replace their unpopular shuttle bus system with thousands of barrels stuffed with wriggling carnivorous fish. Officials promise t…
Angry tweet at TTC fixes decades of underfunding
TORONTO, ON — After a twitter user wrote “@TTCHelps 8 minute wait for the subway, why do MY tax dollars go towards such a lazy incompetent organization?”, years of problems caused by …
50s style cannabis diner promises not to be nostalgic about the systemic racism stuff
TORONTO — Owners of the new Bud’s Cannabis Diner opening in Rosedale have promised that despite painstakingly emulating a 50s aesthetic, they have no intention of getting nostalgic about the bumm…
Toronto police address road safety crisis by teaching pedestrians to die more discreetly
TORONTO – Facing criticism for insufficient traffic enforcement and an increase in fatalities, the Toronto Police have unveiled a new workshop series for pedestrians, showing them how to die in a…
Toronto Zoo running winter time ‘Sad Animals in Cold Cages’ promotion
TORONTO — In an effort to boost attendance during the winter months, the Toronto Zoo is featuring many of their animals from warmer climates in a special ‘Sad Animals in Cold Cages’ campaig…
New Toronto dating app replaces first date with moving in together to save on rent
TORONTO – In a crowded dating-app marketplace that includes Tinder, Hinge, Bumble, and OK Cupid, a new app has emerged that is marketed specifically toward Toronto singles looking to co-hab…
