OTTAWA – As the NHL playoffs get started, Canadian hockey fans whose teams did not make the playoffs are faced with the incredibly difficult decision of whether to go with the Jets or Maple…
Sports
Referee stabbed 23 times during brutal Ides of March Madness game
WICHITA, KS – This March 15th, a first-round game of the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament ended prematurely, after a referee was swarmed by spectators and assassinated by r…
Iditarod favourite suffers heartbreaking loss after getting flat dog on last mile
ALASKA – Champion musher Joar Leifseth Ulsom suffered his worst loss ever after leading the entire Iditarod field until the final mile, when a stray nail deflated his front-left malamute. “…
Worldly sophisticate follows soccer
TORONTO – Eric Bromley, a learned internationalist who clearly holds himself too sophisticated for such parochial pursuits as hockey or basketball, settled down to enjoy an English Premier …
Local man unsure if Olympics just started or already over
WINNIPEG – After two weeks of competition, Pete Franklin is completely unaware if the Winter Olympic Games have just kicked off or finished days ago. “I heard that the opening and/or closing cere…
Vatican City Olympic team stripped of medals after testing positive for performance-enhancing God
PYEONGCHANG – The Papal Olympic team is mired in controversy after a recent IOC test revealed the entire team has been using banned celestial beings during the 2018 Pyeongchang games. “When…
Ottawa Senators head into trade deadline looking to acquire dedicated fan base
OTTAWA – With the NHL’s trade deadline rapidly approaching, franchises are looking to improve the strength of their team by any means necessary. For the Ottawa Senators this means heading i…
Canada’s men’s hockey team could not bear the shame of defeat, so they had a zamboni run them over
One of the amazing things about the Olympics is the emotional journey it takes us on. For every gold medal triumph, there is heartbreaking disappointment. After losing to Germany in the semifinal…
Canadian women’s hockey team Olympic silver medal really let country down, says 42-year-old unemployed loser
MATTAWA, ON – Following an overtime loss in the gold medal hockey game, local man Douglas Birch became vocal on social media about the national shame brought on by Canada’s 2nd place result…
Act of Sportsmanship: Canada’s women curlers allow others to beat them so less popular countries could medal
PYEONGCHANG – For the first time in Canadian Olympic history, Canada’s women curlers will not be returning with a medal as the team decided to allow other countries a chance to win an Olymp…
