According to every major news outlet in Canada, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has appointed Richard Wagner – the classical composer – as the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. Trudea…
Politics
Trudeau returns from Asia trip with tattoo reading “terrible negotiator”
OTTAWA — Sources inside the PMO reveal that Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has been showing off a “cool new tattoo” he received during his economic trip in China, completely unaware that it …
Conservative Santa promises bad children will get coal, good ones bitumen
EDMONTON – In a rare public statement on Friday, Conservative Santa announced he would be replacing the traditional stocking stuffers of candy canes and mini-snickers with more family-frien…
More farmers using Ontario PC platform as fertilizer for its high quality bullshit
LISTOWEL, ON – Farmers across Ontario have already started using the provincial PC Party’s platform to fertilize their fields as the policies outlined are nutrient rich in bullshit. Allan O…
If Andrew Scheer really supported free speech, he’d retweet this editorial where we call him a douche
By The Beaverton Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer claims to support free speech. At least when it suits HIS causes, like the Wilfrid Laurier TA debacle. But given his lack of outrage over a Cath…
Peter Kent calls for moment of silence to commemorate thousands of Canadians killed by marijuana overdoses
OTTAWA – Conservative MP Peter Kent called for the House of Commons to offer a moment of silence for the thousands of Canadians who die in marijuana overdoses each year. The Thornhill MP wh…
Laurier launches probe to determine how TA became exposed to radical Steve Paikin
WATERLOO, ON – Officials at Wilfrid Laurier University are launching a probe to determine how a TA who showed her students a clip from The Agenda became exposed to the extremist organizatio…
Christian Bale prepares for role as Dick Cheney by gaining weight, shooting friend in the face
LOS ANGELES – Method actor Christian Bale has gone to great lengths recently in preparation for his role as Dick Cheney in the upcoming biopic Backseat, including shaving his head, gaining a grea…
Julian Fantino opens marijuana store in Veterans Affairs office he closed
WINDSOR, ON – Former Minister of Veterans Affairs Julian Fantino is opening up a pot shop in one of the nine Veterans Affairs offices he closed in 2014. The former Conservative MP turned ca…
Andrew Scheer’s new slogan: “You’re going to sit there and like Canada or I’m turning this car around!”
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer has released a new, stern motto: “You’re going to sit there and like Canada or I’m turning this car around!” The Conservative Party captured Schee…