OTTAWA – Conservative MPs were on the offensive today blaming a tweet made by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau that welcomed illegal forests fire crossing into Canada. While the opposition cou…
Politics
Trump announces do-over after media calls no takesy-backsies
WASHINGTON D.C. – The White House has announced that Vladimir Putin will be visiting Donald Trump in the United States this fall. Only days after the duo’s Helsinki summit ended with Trump …
Trump wondering how long he has to wait before offering Papa John cabinet position
WASHINGTON, D.C.- Sources within the Trump administration are reporting that the president has asked many of his top aides how long he has to pretend that he is not going to offer recently resign…
America divided over meeting between their leader and President Trump
HELSINKI, FINLAND- Tensions continue to rise in America in the wake of a private meeting between President Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin, Supreme Ruler of the United States. Supreme Ruler Putin…
White friend just not that into politics
SCARBOROUGH – After failing to show any interest in June’s provincial election, local white friend Madison Thomas stunned no one by announcing she’s “just not that into” politics. According to so…
Pro-Brexit ministers do second smaller Brexit from Parliament
LONDON – Several pro-Brexit Secretaries in the British government have shockingly announced their intentions to stage another “mini Brexit”, this time from their duties in Parliament. Forei…
Cabinet Minister breastfeeding during question period on marijuana legalization in your grandpa’s nightmares
OTTAWA – Speaking to reporters on the lawn of his placid retirement community, your grandpa announced this morning that he had had a vivid nightmare yesterday in which the Minister of Democ…
Ford offers Ontario companies holding cap-and-trade credits free tires to burn
TORONTO – Ontario Premier-designate Doug Ford will offer companies that have purchased carbon credits used tires so that they may be burned for heat. Claiming that the move will avoid any p…
Maxime Bernier claims he doesn’t have white privilege due to systemic bias he faces for being an asshole
OTTAWA – After a twitter confrontation in which he accused MP Celina Caesar-Chavannes of “thinking the world revolves around [her] skin colour”, former CPC leadership candidate Maxime Bernier has…
Poll: Majority of Ontarians somewhat creeped out with Doug Ford calling them ‘friends’
TORONTO – A new Ekos Research poll has revealed that a majority of Ontarians find it somewhat weird or very weird that Doug Ford keeps calling them friends despite not having a friendship. …
