OTTAWA – In a speech from the throne opening the new session of Parliament, the Liberal Party outlined their plan to get around to doing what they promised five years ago. “We’re so sorry, …
National
Person you would never trust with a gun also a pro-gun advocate
OTTAWA – The person you would never trust owning and operating a gun is now calling for a complete end to restrictions on assault weapons. Using social media, the guy you knew from high sch…
Kielburgers inspire children nationwide to run away from their problems
TORONTO – Amidst government scandal, We Charity has announced it is winding down its operations in Canada in order to inspire countless Canadian children to run away from their problems too…
Erin O’Toole can’t understand why Lügenpresse are criticizing his Canada First policy
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole is said to be flummoxed as to why the Lying Press is criticizing him for announcing a Canada First approach to the economy and global trade. …
Parents relieved to send kids back to school for 3 weeks before they shut down again
TORONTO – Parents across most of the country were glad to get a small vacation from their school-aged children before they’re sent back due to more COVID-19 outbreaks. “I love my kids, but …
Nova Scotia to be renamed Scotiabank Province
HALIFAX – In a bid to increase brand awareness, the Bank of Nova Scotia has agreed to pay $5,000 and an iPad to the province of Nova Scotia to change its name to Scotiabank Province. “It’s …
Trudeau planning fall election after determining Canadians haven’t suffered enough this year
OTTAWA – The Liberals are set to announce a fall election after determining these past 18 months hasn’t been quite painful enough for Canadians. “Sure there’s been a pandemic, economic cras…
Trudeau chides vandals for not politely asking statue to stop being monument to brutal racist
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau wanted those who toppled a statue of noted proponent of Indigenous genocide Sir John A. Macdonald to know he is deeply disappointed in them for not us…
Erin O’Toole nabs Canada’s coveted racist statue demographic
OTTAWA – This weekend the Conservative Party’s new leader made promising inroads with a key voter demographic: Canada’s tight-knit community of racist statues. “What happened to our brother…
Man whose campaign slogan proposed violent fight for power against people he disagrees with hopes to win over moderates
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole, whose campaign slogan was ‘Take Canada Back’ has announced that he will focus on trying to win over the moderate voters that Andrew Scheer’s s…
