REGINA – Reports are circulating that local man Taylor Klint has continued his evolution along the douchebag spectrum by publicly reading and quoting from The Fountainhead. “I knew where he…
Local
Local jets losing their mind at dog show
EDMONTON – A dog show has caused an uproar among local jet owners, after the show caused many jets to become panicked and upset. “All day my cute little Lockheed Martin RQ-3 Darkstar ‘Fluff…
Millions in property damage caused as pumpkins plummet from the sky for first day of Fall
TORONTO – Reports of smashed windows, wrecked vehicles, and other wide scale property damage are coming in from around the nation today as thousands of pumpkins continue to fall from the sk…
Man mansplains manspreading
TORONTO – A conversation between two female co-workers about the male habit of sitting in public transport with their legs wide apart was interrupted by Jarred Myers, an accountant who work…
Chateau Laurier expansion first national treasure to be revamped using Minecraft
OTTAWA – The historic Chateau Laurier Hotel is getting a much needed facelift with the help of Minecraft, a leader in architecture and design. The proposed revamp would see the 660,000 squa…
Meet the adorable cat responsible for the extinction of 3 bird species
Aurora, ON – In a quiet suburb outside of Toronto lives an adorable, gregarious, grey and white cat who greets everyone he meets with a nuzzle and a purr, and has managed to wipe out three …
Missing aunt found in vat of wine
NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON — After an exhaustive two-week search, local bank manager and self-professed “world’s funnest aunt” Wendy Toolend was found in a 20,000 gallon vat of wine alive and …
Friend starting PhD wildly overestimates your level of interest in dissertation proposal
TORONTO – Local friend Alex Forrester made an enormously flawed judgment call about your level of interest in his PhD plans at last Saturday’s social gathering. The party was just picking up when…
New roommate apparently into banjo
MONTREAL – Having only recently moved into an apartment near McGill University, second year Geography student Natasha Ingersoll has been distressed to discover that her new roommate is appa…
Local woman completes purse collection with wristlet retrieved from booby-trapped temple in Peru
MARKHAM, ON — Local woman Sara Summers recently added the finishing touch to a stunning personal collection of purses: a purple pastel wristlet retrieved from a booby-trapped temple in Peru…
