Oshawa, ON – Craig Batherson, your friend from intramural hockey who has gotten Covid nearly every time a new variant has developed, was surprised to see you wearing a mask. “You know…
Health
“We’re all going to get COVID eventually,” says man about to give you HPV
BRIDGEWATER – There’s no point trying to prevent COVID because we’re all just going to get it eventually, says a man who is perhaps only a few hours away from infecting you with human papil…
New Texas laws prevent doctors from life-saving surgeries if cancerous tumour is one of those that grows teeth and hair
AUSTIN, TX – Shortly after the Supreme Court voted to overturn Roe v. Wade, Texas’ new laws against abortion have expanded to also include bans on life saving surgeries of cancerous tumours…
Citizens who needed instruction on how to wear a mask trusted to do own COVID tests
OTTAWA – In response to growing COVID-19 case numbers, Public Health Officials clarified that Canadians who have needed regular directions on how to properly wear a mask will continue to be…
“It’s probably just seasonal allergies,” says man who really wants to go to a concert this week
MONTREAL – “It must be seasonal allergies,” says 25-year-old Kyle Miller, as he blows his nose and coughs. Miller has never before had any seasonal allergies, but he does have tickets to a Vampir…
Conservative Party of Canada vows not to change ambiguous stance on abortion
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada has announced that, despite the growing pro-life movement in the United States government, Canadians can rest easy knowing that they won’t know the…
4 tips for getting your body ready for tick season
MUSKOKA – As the weather gets warmer, it’s natural to feel a little vulnerable about showing extra skin, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Tina Fontina, entomologist and personal trainer, is he…
Feminist Win! Supreme Court abortion draft validates what women have been screaming about for years
WASHINGTON D.C. — After a draft opinion was leaked from the Supreme Court yesterday stating the Court’s intention to overturn Roe v. Wade, feminists across the country celebrated finally be…
