KITCHENER, ON – Evidence from multiple sources points to a far-reaching plot by baby boomers to waste all the money that could be willed to future generations by purchasing millions and mil…
Culture
Adorable! This small town thinks their film festival is relevant!
Stop what you’re doing right now because this adorable small town is going to melt your heart with its sweet innocence! Whitwell, Manitoba is home to the darling 4 year old Whitwell Weekend Film …
After Rogers cuts support, Viceland TV to move back in with parents
TORONTO – After hearing reports that Rogers Communications is considering pulling out of its financial backing of Viceland TV, the young-adult channel announced that it would be returning t…
PC culture run amok! This high school had to change their mascot from a smallpox blanket
The latest attack from social justice warriors isn’t on one of our beloved prime ministers but rather something completely innocuous, Lakeside High’s beloved mascot Poxy the Smallpox Blanket. Sch…
Hollywood announces all-white remake of that Japanese show where they fall down the stairs
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Less than two days after a Japanese game show where people fall down a greased-up staircase took the internet by storm, Variety has reported that a big-budget Hollywood adap…
Lena Dunham under fire for defending Lena Dunham
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Famous comedian accused of sexual assault. No, not that one. Or that one. The other one.
EVERYWHERE – Reports have emerged over the past week of a famous comedian having committed sexual assault on one or more people. Sources indicate that, no, it’s not that famous comedian – t…
Netflix announces retro TV series consisting entirely of scrambled porn
LOS ANGELES – With nostalgic hits such as Stranger Things, Gilmore Girls, and Fuller House, the streaming giant Netflix has greenlit another 80’s and 90’s inspired series made of nothing but scra…
Christian Bale prepares for role as Dick Cheney by gaining weight, shooting friend in the face
LOS ANGELES – Method actor Christian Bale has gone to great lengths recently in preparation for his role as Dick Cheney in the upcoming biopic Backseat, including shaving his head, gaining a grea…
Ben Affleck trying to find a ‘cool way’ to get out of being Ben Affleck
LOS ANGELES – In a recent USA Today article, actor Ben Affleck announced that he is figuring out a “cool way” to get out of being Ben Affleck as soon as possible. Affleck said that role of …
