A recent musicological study has found that the only living person who truly appreciates the band Radiohead is, in fact, you. “We’re overjoyed,” said an overjoyed Thom Yorke. &#…
Culture
Exclusive: New Avengers movie to feature scene not shown in trailers
NEW YORK – Marvel Entertainment announced today that Avengers: Infinity War, the latest entry in its popular superhero franchise, will feature some content not shown in the trailers. “We ar…
Riverdale Recap: I stopped watching but here’s what I’m pretty sure is happening
As an avid reader of Archie comics, when The CW announced that they were making a film-noir, sexy teen version of the show, I was waiting with breath that was baited. As the first season came to …
Man’s groundbreaking idea for podcast involves him and his friends reviewing movies
TORONTO – Saying that it was “sure to be epic”, leading member of the avant-garde David Tassel revealed the details of his podcast idea yesterday, announcing that it would be him and his fr…
Process of choosing which movie to watch on Netflix enters third day
Belleville, Ontario – Sources report that local couple Christine Peters and Joshua Cartwright have been scrolling through Netflix, trying to settle on a movie to watch since Friday night. &…
Clint Eastwood’s latest film just 2 hours of an American flag blowing in the wind
LOS ANGELES – Critics are raving after an early screening of Clint Eastwood’s latest film “Flag”, 120 minutes of the stars and stripes bravely and proudly blowing in the wind. “It was a mas…
White friend slightly too excited about Black Panther
TORONTO – Local white friend Connor Allen is reportedly just a little too hyped for Marvel’s latest blockbuster, the studio’s first to feature a person of colour in the starring role. “I haven’t …
Update: Friend with obscure, indie Spotify playlist secretly leading double life as Aqua groupie
HAMILTON, ON – New evidence has uncovered that your friend whose public Spotify account shows her listening to musical acts like Neutral Milk Hotel and Charles Bradley is in fact secretly …
Study finds Boomers’ sex lives still haven’t recovered from Mansbridge leaving the National
TORONTO – A new study from a media research group has revealed that Peter Mansbridge’s retirement last year has caused a steep and, to date, permanent drop in the amount of sex being …
Doritos introduces the Ladychip, a crunchless pink tube inserted into the vagina for demure female snackers
PLANO, TX – Doritos, the zesty tortilla chip brand, has announced the launch of a new line of chips aimed at female consumers, a vaginally-inserted crunchless pink tube called the Ladychip.…
