A recent musicological study has found that the only living person who truly appreciates the band Radiohead is, in fact, you.
“We’re overjoyed,” said an overjoyed Thom Yorke. “While we appreciate our fans, I guess, it’s a relief to know someone actually understands our music and lyrics in the exact right way.”
“Unlike everyone else who doesn’t know at all and is stupid and you’re better than them because you understand and they don’t.”
While Radiohead has sold over 30 million albums worldwide, the music community always feared that no one actually, like, got, what they were trying to do – a fear that has now, thanks to you, been laid to rest forever and until the end of time.
“Since Pablo Honey came out in 1993, many people have suggested they were the only ones who got Radiohead,” said former Pitchfork editor Zach Baron. “But it’s now clear that they were all just lying about that one riff from that one deep cut on In Rainbows.
While being the only true Radiohead fan does come with its fair share of responsibilities – such as having to explain to every fan that they are in fact completely wrong and have dumb ideas – the panel says your smug sense of self will largely compensate for the fact that everybody hates talking to you.