TORONTO – Former University of Toronto Professor Jordan Peterson, known best for lionizing patriarchal structure, denouncing the existence of white privilege, and refusing to use gender neu…
Culture
Friends beginning to suspect Dave’s ironic moustache actually sincere
VANCOUVER – In what has become a developing story, Dave Parson’s friends and family have slowly come to the realization that his self-described ironic moustache may, in fact, be completely sincer…
Men everywhere finally given excuse to brag about oral sex skills on social media
MIAMI – After DJ Khaled’s 2015 comments resurfaced on social media, straight men everywhere took to their keyboards to finally tell the world how much they like going down on women. DJ Khal…
Opera house phantom resigns amid allegation of sexual misconduct
PARIS – Amid serious allegations including stalking and sexual harassment, the once beloved disfigured singer, known simply as The Phantom, has stepped down from his role as the mysterious …
Hardcore Marvel fans showing up early to watch Infinity War’s secret 160 minute pre-credit sequence
LOS ANGELES – While Marvel is known for inserting mid- and post-credit scenes into its films to keep fans in their seats while the credits rolls, Avengers: Infinity War is turning this prac…
The internet is LOSING ITS MIND over this video that drives you insane if you watch it
Show of hands, who here remembers ‘The Dress’? (Which was definitely blue and black, by the way- don’t @me) Well, now there’s something that’s going to drive you even more insane. This video that…
Bill Cosby to be digitally replaced by Christopher Plummer in Cosby Show reruns
HOLLYWOOD — In the wake of Bill Cosby’s conviction on three counts of sexual assault, Carsey-Werner Productions has announced that reruns of The Cosby Show will be digitally altered to repl…
Avengers: Infinity War credits to simply list Hollywood actors not in the film
LOS ANGELES – This week Marvel Studios announced that, to shorten running length, Avengers: Infinity War’s credits will just list Hollywood actors that don’t appear onscreen. As Marvel Stud…
Westworld Season 2 Spoilers: The Park is just the Man in Black’s finished basement
As Season 2 of Westworld premiers, here are a few choice spoilers the Beaverton has obtained: 1) The Park is just the Man in Black’s Finished basement You’ll notice in Season 1, lots of questions…
Netflix greenlights reboot of 64,000-year-old cave painting
LOS GATOS, CA – Following the success of reboots/sequels like Fuller House, Gilmore Girls and Lost In Space, Netflix is now looking at humanity’s oldest artistic endeavor as a fresh yet pal…
