LOS ANGELES – In celebration of Canadian rock singer Bryan Adams’ most beloved hit, Universal Records announced today that they will be releasing a remastered “honest” ver…
Entertainment
Local man completely changes personality after being visited by three ghosts
Ach-To — As tends to happen to people on Christmas, local elderly man Luke Skywalker is alleged to have completely changed his personality with a seemingly supernatural abruptness. It is un…
Canadian government greenlights gritty film adaptation of Don’t Put It In Your Mouth PSA
TORONTO – Hoping to capitalize on millennial nostalgia through a newly awarded government grant, Canadian mega-studio Concerned Children’s Advertisers has greenlit a feature length adaptati…
Hallmark Channel pivots to all Goth Christmas programming
STUDIO CITY, CA – Announcing a major shift in tone, the Hallmark Channel is set to launch a new slate of all Goth Christmas programming for festive Goths. “Our audience was tired of watchin…
CBC’s latest hit show already running out of great Canadians to bake
CANADA – CBC’s latest hit, The Great Canadian Baking Show, has been temporarily forced to halt production as the network searches for more great Canadians that the contestants can bake. “No…
Adorable! This small town thinks their film festival is relevant!
Stop what you’re doing right now because this adorable small town is going to melt your heart with its sweet innocence! Whitwell, Manitoba is home to the darling 4 year old Whitwell Weekend Film …
Hollywood announces all-white remake of that Japanese show where they fall down the stairs
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Less than two days after a Japanese game show where people fall down a greased-up staircase took the internet by storm, Variety has reported that a big-budget Hollywood adap…
Lena Dunham under fire for defending Lena Dunham
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Famous comedian accused of sexual assault. No, not that one. Or that one. The other one.
EVERYWHERE – Reports have emerged over the past week of a famous comedian having committed sexual assault on one or more people. Sources indicate that, no, it’s not that famous comedian – t…
Christian Bale prepares for role as Dick Cheney by gaining weight, shooting friend in the face
LOS ANGELES – Method actor Christian Bale has gone to great lengths recently in preparation for his role as Dick Cheney in the upcoming biopic Backseat, including shaving his head, gaining a grea…
