TORONTO – After once again clearing all police officers of any wrongdoing in the death of another Black Torontonian, the Special Investigations Unit has opted to remove the word “Investigat…
Paper shredder working hard to process as many ballots at Conservative Party Leadership vote
OTTAWA – The Conservative Party of Canada’s leadership election has started without a hitch dozens of paper shredders destroying as many ballots before they can be counted. “We …
200 Ontario cops hired to force teachers back into schools
TORONTO – Ontario’s PC government is hiring an additional 200 OPP officers to force any unruly teachers back into classrooms. “My friends, teacher unions are the greatest threat to the heal…
US prison overcrowding reaches critical mass due to Trump’s staff
WASHINGTON – Experts and prison staff are raising the alarm about overcrowding in US prisons due to Donald Trump’s staff. “We’re at a breaking point,” said Yani Overbrooke, a prison warden …
Gender-balanced cabinet forces woman to work two jobs
OTTAWA – A gender-balanced cabinet is now requiring a woman to work two jobs after a male employee left his post for higher pursuits. Chrystia Freeland, the Deputy Prime Minister, has been …
Morneau claims he forgot to resign two years ago
OTTAWA – Finance Minister Bill Morneau has resigned after remembering that he was asked to do so some two years ago. Morneau made a brief statement to the press after 26 months spent in a m…
CFL cancels season after potential exposure to Winnipeg
WINNIPEG – CFL Commissioner Randy Ambrosie announced that there will be no 2020 Canadian Football Season stating that the risk is too high for players being exposed to Winnipeg. “The safety…
Putin assures world COVID-19 vaccine has been rigorously tested on political opponents
MOSCOW – Russian President Vladimir Putin has announced the successful development of the world’s first COVID-19 vaccine, which was rigorously tested on his political opponents and journali…
Citing a culture of fear, anti-maskers remove stop signs
TORONTO – Members of an anti-mask group have taken down an intersection’s stop signs to remove what they call a culture of fear towards oncoming traffic. For years, the red octagons have te…
