OTTAWA – A new poll by Angus Reid has found that the vast majority of Canadians, while upset about Trump’s proposed tariffs, are still pretty relieved he hasn’t declared actual war by now. …
Citing distinct identity, 7 Bloc Quebecois MPs announce intention to separate from rest of party
OTTAWA – Claiming that leader Martine Ouellet does not respect their unique position within the Bloc Quebecois Party, 7 out of 10 Bloc MPs have chosen to leave. Tension has been building fo…
Pornhub front page taken over by clips of Virtue and Moir’s gold medal routine
MONTREAL – After their technically perfect and perfectly erotic short and long dance programs led them to another ice dance gold medal, Canada’s Virtue and Moir are currently dominating the…
Process of choosing which movie to watch on Netflix enters third day
Belleville, Ontario – Sources report that local couple Christine Peters and Joshua Cartwright have been scrolling through Netflix, trying to settle on a movie to watch since Friday night. &…
After unveiling streaming film service Toronto public library now valued at $9.2 billion
TORONTO – Only a month after unveiling their well received streaming film service, the Toronto Public Library has been valued at just under $10,000,000,000.00 “With Netflix, Hulu, Ama…
Study finds Boomers’ sex lives still haven’t recovered from Mansbridge leaving the National
TORONTO – A new study from a media research group has revealed that Peter Mansbridge’s retirement last year has caused a steep and, to date, permanent drop in the amount of sex being …
If Andrew Scheer really supported free speech, he’d retweet this editorial where we call him a douche
By The Beaverton Conservative Leader Andrew Scheer claims to support free speech. At least when it suits HIS causes, like the Wilfrid Laurier TA debacle. But given his lack of outrage over a Cath…
Loblaws to merge Optimum and PC Plus into one card you never remember
TORONTO – After acquiring Shoppers Drug Mart three years ago Loblaw Companies Limited has announced plans to merge the Optimum and PC Plus rewards plans into a single card you always mean t…
Ontario pot plan requires all recreational users to smoke in single basement in Sudbury
TORONTO – Unveiling their new plan for how recreational weed will be consumed moving forward the Ontario Liberals have announced that all would be smokers will need to gather at a single ba…
Nation can’t remember what Stephen Harper looks like
OTTAWA – In the wake of Stephen Harper’s open letter on the NAFTA renegotiations the entire nation of Canada has realized they no longer have any idea what their previous prime minister looks lik…
