Thunder Bay, ON – Researchers at Lakehead University are baffled and more than a little distressed after discovering that local man Hunter Braddock finished an entire Spring Mix Salad packa…
Netflix adds Canada filter to American shows by removing scenes where characters wear shoes inside the house
TORONTO – Netflix Canada has announced a bold plan to make American movies and tv shows feel more familiar to Canadian audiences by editing out any scene where characters inexplicably wear …
Erin O’Toole can’t understand why Lügenpresse are criticizing his Canada First policy
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Erin O’Toole is said to be flummoxed as to why the Lying Press is criticizing him for announcing a Canada First approach to the economy and global trade. …
Trudeau planning fall election after determining Canadians haven’t suffered enough this year
OTTAWA – The Liberals are set to announce a fall election after determining these past 18 months hasn’t been quite painful enough for Canadians. “Sure there’s been a pandemic, economic cras…
Racist facebook friend got married
Kitchener, ON – Reports from your facebook account indicate that Mitch, a guy you once met on a camping trip and who has been posting increasingly racist memes for several years now, recent…
Poll: 30% of Canadians support letting Alberta join U.S. “for the laughs”
TORONTO – As the Wexit movement pivots from independence towards joining the U.S., 30% of Canadians east of Saskatchewan say they are in favour of this, given how entertaining they expect i…
Man whose campaign slogan proposed violent fight for power against people he disagrees with hopes to win over moderates
OTTAWA – Erin O’Toole, whose campaign slogan was ‘Take Canada Back’ has announced that he will focus on trying to win over the moderate voters that Andrew Scheer’s s…
Tough NHL players able to play through injuries, civil rights movements
TORONTO – Proving once again that they are the toughest professional athletes on planet Earth, NHL players took to the ice last night, overcoming a litany of injuries and moral qualms about…
Local man fondly recalls early days of pandemic
Dartmouth, NS – 6 months in, local man Jackson Martin has been reduced to looking back with nostalgia at the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. “Remember back in March when we were …
Guy who has definitely gotten into a fight at a minor league hockey game wins Conservative leadership
OTTAWA – Moving on from Andrew Scheer The Conservative Party has selected for it’s leader Durham MP and guy who has for sure gotten into a tussle at a minor league hockey game Erin O&…
