Kincardine, ON – Mona Lee has found herself repeatedly using the same patient but exasperated tone explaining why her toddler shouldn’t eat things that will kill him as she does when explaining to her 70 something parents why they shouldn’t go on a cruise in the middle of a pandemic.
“Sweety we don’t eat the lego fireman because we could choke and hurt ourselves,” she said to her 3 year old Jackson before turning her attention back to the facetime video and saying to her parents Michael and Evelyn “Now sweeties, we don’t get on a cruise ship full of potentially infectious people because we have pre-existing health conditions and could hurt ourselves.”
“Maybe let’s watch an episode of Peppa Pig instead,” she said to both her child and parents.
Mona has found that her experience as the parent of a toddler has really come in handy as the child of two senior citizens who seem determined to expose themselves to COVID as much as humanly possible. She has already got them to stop going to Costco by offering to buy them McDonalds french fries instead, and just last week she put her foot down and prevented them from going to their neighbours for an indoor dinner party, despite the vicious tantrum that ensued.
“I don’t mean to talk to the people that raised me like little kids,” said Mona. “But when you’re dealing with an irrational, emotionally immature person who keeps trying to do the equivalent of chasing a toy into the middle of a busy street, it just kind of comes out.”
If her parents refuse to see reason, Mona says she may have to bring out the big guns and take away their binky. Which in this case is a DVD box set of MASH.
Mona’s parents couldn’t be reached for comment as they were too busy wandering into a hardware store to browse while wearing a mask under their nose.
In related news the parents of a pre-teen boy have used the same calm language when telling him about the birds and the bees as they did explaining to his grandpa why yes, you can get COVID even if you had the polio vaccine.