OTTAWA – Finishing out the last of his holiday shopping, former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has reportedly asked aides how many autographed 8×10 photographs of himself to gift to his…
Canadian economy rallies as #1 export now Heated Rivalry
OTTAWA – Canada’s economy, which has spent the year reeling due to American tariffs, is finishing the year strong thanks to the country’s new chief export, the gay hockey-romanc…
U.S. plan to inspect Canadians’ social media overwhelmed by Peter Mansbridge thirst traps
NIAGARA FALLS – A recently U.S. proposal to demand 5 years of social media history from travellers has hit a snag, as American customs agents were wholly overwhelmed by the sheer volume of …
“Am I invading Venezuela for oil or to distract from Epstein?” Trump asks coatrack
MAR-A-LAGO, FL – Sources report President Donald J. Trump was seen questioning his own motivations behind a series of shocking recent moves in Venezuela, along with a close confidant who wa…
Air Transat strike averted, reads man who now has to fly home for holidays
CALGARY – Air Transat has reached a tentative deal with its pilot union, narrowly avoiding a strike on the cusp of the busy holiday travel period, meaning that Francois Tremblay, 32, will i…
Is The Temporary Foreign Worker Program working? We asked 4 Tim Hortons franchise owners, and one slum landlord
The Temporary Foreign Worker (TFW) Program allows Canadian employers to hire foreign workers to fill temporary jobs when qualified Canadians are not available, and that’s why it is complete…
Huge Black Friday lineup turns out to just be for Food Bank
HAMILTON, ON – Local residents this morning report driving past an excitingly long lineup and assuming it was for a blowout Black Friday sale, before realizing that it was just a regular qu…
Removal of CRTC content quotas for porn leads to cancellation of next five Eric Peterson projects
OTTAWA – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission will no longer impose Canadian Content quotas on pornographic websites, leading to the cancellation of several upcom…
Marco Rubio reveals Ukraine Peace Plan confusion caused by trip to Liquor Dome
HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spendi…
JD Vance slams Canada after being rejected by sexy chesterfield
WASHINGTON D.C. – American Vice President JD Vance has posted online, slamming the country of Canada’s economic and immigration policies, which insiders reveal stems from hurt feeling…
