HAMILTON, ON – Local residents this morning report driving past an excitingly long lineup and assuming it was for a blowout Black Friday sale, before realizing that it was just a regular qu…
Removal of CRTC content quotas for porn leads to cancellation of next five Eric Peterson projects
OTTAWA – The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission will no longer impose Canadian Content quotas on pornographic websites, leading to the cancellation of several upcom…
Marco Rubio reveals Ukraine Peace Plan confusion caused by trip to Liquor Dome
HALIFAX – U.S. lawmakers attending the Halifax International Security Forum reveal that confusion around a leaked peace plan for Ukraine were caused by Secretary of State Marco Rubio spendi…
JD Vance slams Canada after being rejected by sexy chesterfield
WASHINGTON D.C. – American Vice President JD Vance has posted online, slamming the country of Canada’s economic and immigration policies, which insiders reveal stems from hurt feeling…
Kevin O’Leary petitions Trump to have name added to Epstein Files
TORONTO – With newly released files from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Trump in a world of elite, amoral power players, Canadian businessman Kevin O’L…
Trump accuses all 342 million Americans of also being in Epstein Files
WASHINGTON D.C. – With the release of thousands of emails from notorious sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein implicating President Donald Trump, the POTUS is deflecting by boldly alleging that e…
Carney adds more deficits to budget while nobody paying attention
OTTAWA – Amid a week of heavily-publicized upheaval in the Conservative caucus, Prime Minister Mark Carney is currently adding even larger deficit spending after realizing that nobody is pa…
Poilievre to floor-crossing MP: “My leadership style is fine you cuck beta soyboy!”
OTTAWA – With Yarmouth MP Chris d’Entremont crossing the floor from the Conservatives to the Liberals due to “Poilievre’s leadership style”, the CPC leader has responded &…
Katy Perry smiles politely as Trudeau describes himself as “the Canadian Mamdani”
OTTAWA – Onlookers at high end restaurant La Rivière report spotting celebrity couple Katy Perry and Justin Trudeau on a recent date, during which the former Prime Minister repeatedly drew …
Tech CEOs suggest AI job losses could be offset by UBI which they will violently oppose
PALO ALTO, CA – A group of Silicon Valley tech CEOs assure North Americans that job losses from artificial intelligence could easily be mitigated by universal basic income, while also addin…
