OTTAWA – Prime Minister Justin Trudeau reports that he is considering running for leadership of a different country, following 9 years of “getting his feet wet” in Canada. ̶…
Conservatives announce that Loblaws will be exclusive distributors of new Porn IDs
OTTAWA – Conservative Leader Pierre Poilievre has already announced an exclusive deal that would see his government’s newly-proposed Porn IDs sold exclusively at Loblaws grocery store…
Ukrainian military discovers Canadian “drones” just old Sea Kings with GoPros taped on
KYIV, UKRAINE – Following the announcement that Canada will provide 800 drones to aid in the Ukrainian war effort to repel Russia’s invasion, military officers in Ukraine report that …
Russian autopsy shows Navalny locked self in Siberian gulag, poisoned self
MOSCOW – Officials from the Kremlin, under the close supervision of Russian President Vladimir Putin, have concluded an autopsy of Alexei Navalny, concluding that the recently-deceased oppo…
Following fraud judgement, Trump offers followers chance to pay $355mil for one night of passion with Eric
NEW YORK – After a civil fraud ruling that will force Donald Trump to pay $355 million dollars, the former president is hoping to raise the cash by offering Republican voters a chance to do…
Hamas and Netanyahu exchange Valentines to thank each other for job security
GAZA – In the wake of an intractable decades-long conflict that has left thousands of civilians dead in both Israel and the Gaza Strip, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netenyahu and the lea…
Eglinton LRT builders mail ransom note, severed piece of track, to Torontonians
TORONTO – With the Eglinton LRT transit extension multiple years behind schedule, and no firm completion date in sight, the various firms contracted with building the project have sent a ra…
Singh not looking forward to voting for same old two parties in next election
OTTAWA – With partisan rhetoric between Trudeau’s Liberals and Poilievre’s Conservatives heating up in anticipation of a possible Federal election, many report feeling dismayed …
Putin pauses interview to ask if Carlson wants to go at least a little harder on him
MOSCOW – During a rare sit-down interview with Tucker Carlson, Russian President Vladimir Putin was repeatedly forced to pause the proceedings in order to encourage the ex-Fox News pundit t…
Bell cuts 4800 jobs to create more participants for next Bell Let’s Talk Day
TORONTO – Following the news that Bell Canada Enterprises Inc. is cutting over 4800 jobs, as well as shuttering many local newscasts and radio stations, Bell has assured Canadians the move …