TORONTO – Local man Eric Braiser is currently approaching the half-hour mark of politely listening to his friend Sarah talk about what a nightmare her recent flight out of Pearson was.
“I thought it was just going to be a quick ‘Pearson sucks’ tale,” said Braiser as he took a break in the bathroom. “But then she started doing a play by play of everything from the Uber ride to the security line and I knew I was in for the long haul.”
“When she started talking about her flight being delayed for ‘a full ninety minutes’ I had to grip the couch tight to not scream about how she got to go to Paris and I share a basement apartment with my 55 year old roommate. Instead I just nodded and said ‘that sucks’ over and over again.”
Like many Canadians in recent months Sarah has decided that complaining about the process of flying in the middle of a pandemic and an economic recession is something that other people would enjoy hearing about, and not make them want to youtube search ‘at home guillotine construction.’
“So first we get to Bag Drop and the lady wouldn’t even talk to me until I put on a mask. So rude! Then she said we were at the wrong Gate and I said no we aren’t. It turns out she was right but she didn’t need to give me attitude like that. Then I asked JUST ASKED if we could be bumped up to business class and she kinda laughed at me. So I had to spend 30 minutes complaining to her manager, then we had to run to make it through security. There was a whole kerfuffle because I had a full water bottle. And you won’t believe what the guard said to me,” said Sarah as Eric’s eyes glazed over, his mind wandering to the thought of what it would feel like to fly through the sky and touch down in another country, full of wonder and hope.
“There wasn’t even a meal on the flight!” she added.
In related news Sarah had miraculously overcome her ordeal enough to book another vacation for next month.